To save time commuting to and from the yoga studio, I decided to take an online class.
As I’ve done a gazillion times in this very spot, I put on the video and began doing what the instructor directed me to do. Twenty minutes or so later, she instructs me to lay down, and so I did.
BAM! I saw stars and thought my time on earth was about to cease. There was an immense weight on my head and blood in my eyes. From yoga? Who bleeds from yoga?
I realized I wasn’t dead, so I reached for my head. On top of it wasn’t a boulder, or an anvil, or a roof-piercing asteroid. What crashed into my cranium was a fireplace! Yes, you read that right.
Last year, before they moved to North Carolina, my son and his partner acquired a portable fireplace that they didn’t take with them for some reason. It has sat for a year against the wall of my yoga room, never moving, never toppling. Until now, when it launched itself onto my noggin.
I lifted it off (it’s a heavy sucker) and ran to the bathroom for a towel. Blood was pouring everywhere as I screamed for my husband. He grabs the first aid kit and our handy dandy canine cut stopper powder and comes to my rescue.
“I don’t want to get stitches, please. Don’t say I have to go to the hospital!” I beg him. He cautions me to slow down and let him see.
“No stitches — I don’t want them to cut my hair! And I don’t want to do the concussion protocol, because they will ask me ‘who is the president of the USA?’” [You can see my senses returned.]
He administered the first aid, and after a few minutes, he assured me the blood was clotting as it was meant to do.
After the weekend, I did go to see my family doctor. She confirmed the wound was “healing nicely” and she would have done the same thing herself. “Never let them cut your hair unless it’s a matter of life, death, or guaranteed infection,” she decreed.
They say that most accidents occur in the home. Remember that next time you have a choice to go out or stay in. Because staying in might just get you a knock on the coconut from a rogue fireplace.