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Tossed Salad Friday

~~ In Dementia-ville, we have a saying: WELCOME TO HELL. Actually, that’s just something that runs through my mind all the friggin’ time.

~~ The aide was watching a TV show with a large amount of screaming. At first, I thought it was the patient, but it was not. It was some demonic creature being tortured by other demons (the latter part is pure speculation) — it shrieked like the ex-husband of the mega-millions lottery winner, only in a sharper pitch.

Each time the quiet of the house was pierced by the demonic squeals, my dog Lovie Smith would respond. So for about 20-25 minutes, this was the soundtrack of my life:

Demon: AY-YEEEEE-EH-EH-EH-EH-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Dog: GRR-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

[Repeat until you want to grab a baseball bat and beat yourself into oblivion.]

~~ Do you know what elephant dung smells like when it’s cooked with okra? Unfortunately, I think I do.

~~ The yoga teacher says, “Continue doing this until your thighs feel heavy.” I’m thinking, when don’t they feel heavy?

~~ Overheard: “It’s not so much that he said it, it’s that I could tell that he wanted to say it.”      

~~ Overheard: “Your job is recruitment, not cleaning toilets. Tell your boss to stick that Lysol or whatever up his ass.”



~~ What a week. I made a few-less-than-a-zillion get out the vote phone calls and saw a few favorite candidates come up short. But we also saw a blue, pink, and rainbow wave drench this country, the red blood of more Americans, and the unpeeling of the orange-in-chief. This country is broken — I hope the women and men in leadership positions come January bring a lot of glue.

Dasvidaniya. Have a great weekend. Look for that very scary caravan of refugees as it seems to have gone missing. Finally, thanks to veterans who’ve served our country — we owe you more than our gratitude.

J!-E!-T!-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!
LET’S GO RANGERS!
GO, NY KNICKS, GO!

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