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Tossed Salad Friday

~~ When you want to search for in what state a certain city is in, but the Google suggestions that follow “Where” are so ridiculous you bail out:

~~ Overheard:  “I told him he could invite three people. He thought that meant three people PLUS THEIR FAMILIES! I have 11 freaking strangers coming over for Christmas Eve!”

~~ I know this is based on some kind of market research on buzzwords (or the like), but please tell me, do these two scents conjure up different experiences for you?

~~ Walking around the corner, a woman coming the other way sneezed full into my face. She looked annoyed at my shocked expression, but didn’t say a word. Mustering up all the sarcasm I learned as a teenager, I said, “Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess you.” She just kept going. I’m ticked at myself that I didn’t substitute another word for “bless.”

~~ There are a zillion worst text fails than mine, but still, how dumb was this?

~~ Then again, if I hadn’t tweeted about how dumb that text fail was, I wouldn’t have received this epic reply from Auntie Anne's pretzels!
~~ I believe this is the first photo I have ever taken in a bathroom. It just seemed so, so, well, so, I don’t know…

~~ The news has me in a tizzy, I’ve been knitting gifts until I’m dizzy, I don’t drink but I’m craving something fizzy. I cry from desperation, mourning our nation and the assault on my ears from music that is Haitian. I’m desperately chilly, the dementia patient’s screams are shrilly, and continuing to rhyme for the hell of it is quite silly.


Dasvidaniya. Have a Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Happy Festivus, Joyous Kwanzaa, and Happy New Year! See you January 5, 2018.
J!-E!-T!-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!
LET’S GO RANGERS!
GO, NY KNICKS, GO!

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