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Tossed Salad Friday

~~ In Dementia-ville, the current aide is a sneaky sort who thinks she’s avoiding me by staying in her room until she believes I’ve left the kitchen, cracking the patient’s area door open just a teensy bit to peer in to see if I’m about, and generally being shifty. The joke’s on her because a) I don’t give a rip whether we have a conversation, and b) I can watch her via the video monitor in her room while she’s with the patient.

~~ On the other hand, the patient has zero hesitation about practicing her Halloween cackle six weeks in advance. Let me tell you, she doesn’t need any more rehearsal. It’s blood (and toe) curdling to hear her squawk, You are dead ha ha ha ha ha and Shiiiiiiiiiit ya ya ya whenever I may have momentarily forgotten her presence. Think Wicked Witch of the West on steroids.

~~ This week’s disgusting odor might be described as what could invade your nostrils after diarrhea mated with foot fungus.

~~ Overheard a conversation between women in a restroom: “These pills are making me put on so much weight.” “Are you sure it’s not all the chocolate?”

~~ Overheard: “Mom, I called you, remember? I have a reason.”

~~ Overheard: “We called them but they didn’t answer. You think during a hurricane they’d be around to pick up the phone.”

~~ Overheard: “I get Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden mixed up. I asked my daughter which one I liked and she said Joe Biden.”

~~ As occasional and regular readers know, I often disclose struggles with very real challenges. I somehow manage to muddle my way through many of them (bitching and moaning, for sure) but I thought I’d tell you about a trivial predicament that really flustered me. I passed by the library and picked up two books I really wanted to read. Later that day, an email arrived telling me that two ebooks were automatically checked out to my Kindle, after being on the wait lists since March and July for the titles. The freak out proceeded thusly: How was I going to read four books in three-four weeks since I work from 7:30 am until 10-something pm nightly? Why did I have to work so many hours? Didn’t I deserve to read books? Would I ever get more than 20 minutes or so a day to read ever again? Why do other people have leisure time and I don’t? Whom did I piss off in the universe that now hates me so? Not having time for R & R was going to kill me someday for sure. I was soon going to be ignorant and dead, and it was all because I had four books and a ticking library clock!

~~ Yes, I reined myself in with a sigh and then a giggle. My biggest problems should be going back on a wait list for another few months and/or asking at the library counter if I may renew my books or run up a tab of five cents a day in fines.

~~ On the other hand, extended periods of stress slay people stronger than me.

~~ I can’t tell what will happen in politics between when I write this and you read this, so here’s my attempt at staying topical:

Dasvidaniya. Have a great weekend.



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April 2019


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