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Tossed Salad Friday

~~ Overheard: “She’s an absolute, 100 percent bitch who has no taste and no life. Do I need her at my house all summer?”

~~ Griped to me: “My 39-year-old brother-in-law died in his sleep last June. That killed the whole summer for fun — we had to shut down the pool and the tiki bar in our backyard.”

~~ Overheard: “I swear I didn’t pee in my pants. I just sweat all day and night in summer.”

~~ A very competent friend says her husband isn’t handy. One example: He installed a bike rack on the roof of the car. He placed the bicycles thereon and started exiting the driveway. The rack promptly flew off and hubby ran over both bikes!

She says she bemoaned to her son how she hoped he’d learn to be more skillful than dad. He assured her that he’d just marry someone as handy as mom!

~~ Did you ever think we’d be living in an age where pharmaceuticals have their own theme songs?

~~ Speaking of drugs, let’s visit Dementia-ville, shall we? The patient was quite lethargic, and the doctor said that it was an expected progression of the disease. My husband persisted, wondering if there was anything to try. Yes, there was a drug that might rev her appetite, and boy, did it! The potty-mouthed patient is roaring again!

~~ Yesterday’s preferred swearword of the day was, as usual, Shiiiit. However, she shook it up quite a bit, so it sounded something like Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit-ity, Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, Gooooooooooo Away, Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit-ity You Shit.

~~ The Mets played yesterday afternoon, so I listened on my laptop as I worked. When they won in the ninth, I WOO-HOO’ed. Loudly. Two hours later, the aide came out from the patient’s area and said, “Is everything OK? I heard shouting.” Yes, two hours later.

~~ The aides shifted out and in this week, so there was no one dominant aroma. But the air was ripe at times with eau d’overflowing cesspool and parfum du poblano. Or jalapeño.

~~ The yoga instructor was discussing the difference between alertness and awareness. I really never gave it much thought, believing they were semi-interchangeable. Once she focused us on the difference, I was floored at all the times I’d been attentive but completely unmindful.

~~ Remember when teabags didn’t quote Moody Blues songs?

~~ I so want to rant about politics. Like the sheer folly of citizens paying for John McCain’s expensive health care (which I don’t begrudge) so he can recover and get back to DC to vote for cutting off healthcare for others (grrrr). And the fact that no one is fooled by the word “adoptions” and how astounding it is to see and hear the sheer ignorance of the man in the White House. Or, at least, I’d laud the wife of the Japanese prime minister, who pretended not to speak English so she could avoid dinner conversation with the PUS! Nevertheless, I promised an avid reader and political burnout that I’d take two weeks off from raving about the GOP in my blog. I honored that promise last week and this week, as best as I could. But this is probably the last time I take a request!

~~ I finished one of the most interesting and ultimately enjoyable books I have ever read. Lincoln in the Bardo, by George Saunders, is a fictional story concerning the death of Lincoln’s young son while living in the White House.
At first, the book mystified me, and then the cast of characters frustrated me. I was thisclose to abandoning it when WHAM! I got it and devoured it. It’s an amazing book and I highly recommend it.

~~ One last thing: The patient is singing a bunch of unintelligible words (plus some explicit expletives) to the tune of the Star Spangled Banner. Am I supposed to stand up during the performance?
Dasvidaniya. Have a great weekend.
LET’S GO METS!

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