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Tossed Salad Friday

~~ Overheard: “He won’t listen to me or the doctor. He’s gotten so fat that we could sail our boat using his sweat pants.”

~~ I went to a lovely baby shower last weekend. I adore the hostess but I wasn’t in my element. The people in attendance were mostly either millennials/Gen X'ers or those of my generation whose conversations easily flowed between shopping at Henri Bendel’s and Real Housewives TV shows. Sports and politics are my go-to subjects, but the former subject bored them and the latter was off-limits with this right-leaning bunch.

~~ I discovered that all those years I wore a pair of black pumps with my navy blue suit I might have been committing a fashion faux pas. I thought it looked OK, and the extremely fashionable hostess seemed to think the pairing was fine, but others were vehemently opposed to the combo. I also learned that same weekend — from another source — that one never wears velour before Thanksgiving. Whew! I never do.

~~ I had a good (internal) laugh when someone at the shower asked me how long it took me to knit the monkey and pig baby bibs for the mom-to-be. “A Rangers’ game and a Mets’ game,” I said. “Ohhhhhh,” responded a friend of the guest of honor. “Good to know that’s a way to get through those sports’ games.”

~~ There are a lot of cool infant things these days, but as I oohed and aahed with the rest of the guests over all the booty for baby-to-be, I remembered my kids’ infancies. The cuter the outfit, the more stains that won’t come out. The better the gadget to soothe kiddies to sleep, the more likely your child will only drop off after a car ride or 72 walks around the house.

~~ Now that the weather has warmed, Dementia-Ville has gone on the road. As the aide rolled the wheelchair down the street, neighbor kids were treated to these delightful lyrics: Shit, shit, shit, you you you you, shit, shit shit, you you no no no no!

~~ When I was a kid, flying cars were the thing that defined the future. Now they are close to being a reality! I guess when the PUS was a kid he never heard about flying cars or he wouldn’t have come up with a 10th century solution (“The Wall”) to the 21st century issue of people crossing borders without papers. If they don’t tunnel under, they’ll fly over.

~~ A wild-eyed Trump fanatic told me I was “quite naïve” to fear his tin-pot dictator leading us into war. “He’s not going to kill anyone. He just wants to make money.” Oh. That’s reassuring.

Dasvidaniya. Have a good weekend.
LET’S GO RANGERS!
LET’S GO METS!

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