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Tossed Salad Friday

~~ I hope you had a good New Year’s Eve and Day. I also hope that things are getting off to the best possible start for you, considering that 1) it’s January and 2) we’re hurtling towards doom.

~~ I decided to shake up one of the few things within my control these days and cut my hair. The stylist lopped off around four inches and made the ends look askew by hacking them every which way — in other words, it was a dramatic change. I thought it looked nice, but then things started to happen.

~~ I looked in the mirror and John Denver, circa 1973, was looking back at me.

~~ I spent two hours at dinner with four family members who didn’t seem to notice any change at all. A day later, as I walked down a street towards yoga, a resident with whom I have a nodding acquaintance said, “Love the new hair!”

~~ A woman in yoga said, “Wow! You’ve lost weight!” I haven’t lost weight. Someone else said, “I thought you got a haircut, but then realized it was your earmuffs.” I wasn’t wearing earmuffs.


~~ The chair of an organization to which I belong arranged for a CPR course for members. It’s early-ish on a Sunday morning, it costs money, and I still remember the drill from the last time I took a course (great, now the Bee Gees Stayin’ Alive is in my head). So I deleted the email announcement. I guess other people did as well, resulting in this oh-so-wrong follow-up from the chair:

The response we have gotten to making this available to our congregation and friends is deafening silence. What are you people thinking? Do you think that the techniques will come to you subliminally? Isn’t it important to be ready for the chance to save another person?

~~ The only thing he left out was a whiny, “What do you have to lose?” In any case, I am fairly certain this guy isn’t employed in the fields of marketing, human resources, or customer satisfaction.

~~ Overheard: Mom, think about it. How the hell do you medicate away being a fool?

~~ It’s a beautiful day in Dementia-ville, especially if you enjoy hearing soaring, melodic, dare I say operatic arias, climaxing in Getttttttttttttttttttt Outtttttttttttttttttttttttt!  Mariah Carey may not be able to hit these notes anymore, but the dementia patient surely can. There’s another work in progress, but it’s obvious the libretto isn’t finished. It starts out You Stupid You, then trails into an ear-splitting Youuuu that just hangs in the air, waiting for a coda that never comes.

~~ The new aide seems nice. So, of course, we hear that she’s leaving Monday.

~~ When I ran spellcheck on this blog, it urged me to substitute Stalin for Stayin’ in the CPR paragraph. Et tu, spellcheck?

Have a good weekend!
LET’S GO RANGERS!
GO, NY KNICKS, GO!

 

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