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Tossed Salad Friday

~~ Let’s commence with the daft doings in Dementia-ville, shall we? There’s progress of sorts on the stink side, as I was only knocked over by smells twice this week. Once, it reeked as if an entire NFL team had suddenly lost control of their bowels. The other time, it smelled worse.

~~ The You are Shit song has a new variation. Or perhaps You are Ass Shit, Ass, Ass, Shit, Shit Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit is a whole new song. It’s like the playlist of a heavy metal death band  — I know the tunes vary a bit but, damn, the lyrics all sound the same.

~~ I was at the back door waiting quietly for my dogs about 10:30 pm when the aide came down from her room, headed toward the kitchen. She spotted me and did such a rapid about-face on the stairs that she resembled a cartoon character.

~~ “Looking for Christmas decorations?” asked the man selling wreaths on the street. “No, thanks,” I replied. “But they are very pretty!” As I walk away, I hear him engage someone else with, “Buy a very pretty wreath for Christmas?”

~~ She acknowledged my safety pin, so I reached into my purse and gave her one. “Thanks,” she beamed. “But I don’t know whether to wear it or stick it into an orange voodoo doll.”

~~ A woman seemed innocuous despite talking to herself at Trader Joe’s. “Anything I can do?” I inquired. She smiled and asked if I knew which of the energy, protein, and fruit bars she was looking at were vegan. I did know and told her which was which. Unbidden, she related to me how she was on a 10-day cleanse that prohibited animal products. She was only on day one, but boy, did this cleanse sound like a doozy! I must have made quite the face when she advised that her breakfast was 32-ounces of salt water, because she immediately reassured me, “It was sea salt.” The point of the cleanse was to lose 10-15 pounds, but frankly, you’d have to assure me I’d lose both 15 pounds and 15 years off my face before I’d drink a bucket of seawater.

~~ I knit a lovely kerchief for a teacher and friend in a delicate and sheepy yarn. The kerchief was a deceptively time-consuming project, because you start with four stitches and end up with 90. Therefore, every row takes you longer to knit than did the one before it. Once the triangle was completed, I added hundreds of more stitches to make the ties.

Despite its duration, I made it with love and with good thoughts in every stitch. When it was finally completed (very late at night after many evenings of intensive knitting), I laid it down near my open purse and went to bed. That purse has a long strip of Velcro inside to fasten it, but I didn’t take that into account, being all punchy-tired and knitted out. The next morning when I went to retrieve the scarf and steam it straight, I found it stuck to the Velcro in at least eight spots! It was a bear to pull apart, and pull apart it did. If there’s a moral here, it’s hiding. Which is probably the best place for it, considering all the swearing it heard while I deconstructed and reconstructed the kerchief.

~~ Overheard: “Her husband seems like a pretty nice guy, if you like small eyes and no butt.”

~~ I was feeling lower than low yesterday afternoon when a package arrived. Inside was a gift from a wonderful friend who says she sent it just to say she was thinking of me. People, we often have no idea what’s truly going on in someone else’s life, but if you’re thinking of a person, let him or her know. It doesn’t have to involve a gift, but it does have to acknowledge s/he matters.

Have a great weekend!
J!-E!-T!-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!
LET’S GO RANGERS!
GO, NY KNICKS, GO!

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Feb. 17th, 2017 08:59 pm (UTC)
I look forward to Fridays!
A mutual friend (Tina F.) introduced me to your blog and I love it - and I've passed on the info to another friend going through something similar as well.
Thanks!! Please keep blogging!
real_lawyer
Feb. 21st, 2017 09:13 pm (UTC)
Re: I look forward to Fridays!
Thank you so very much! It helps to know others are at the same kind of loose ends, though I wish none of us were.

I truly appreciate your comment. And I'll keep blogging because the other outlets for my anger aren't socially acceptable and/or moral.

Lita
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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