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Tossed Salad Friday

~~ Imagine a boiling pot with soap, wool, mulch, and gym socks (but far less pleasant). That was the smell permeating my nostrils the other day. I won’t be surprised if I have a nightmare about a giant cauldron spewing malodorous zombies that slay citizens with just their fetid odor.


~~ I hear the cabinets in the kitchen opening and closing. The rapidity and frequency unnerves me, so I investigate. I see the home health aide pouring a stream of our salt into whatever she’s preparing. I question her because she’s supposed to supply her own food (and hadn’t asked to use ours). Her response: “Salt isn’t food.” OK, let’s try it again. It’s a seasoning that costs money. “No, no. Salt isn’t that either. It’s just salt.” Next time you go to the store and they are giving away salt, let me know, please. I want to pick up enough for me and Ms. Saline.

~~ It’s not the salt I begrudge her.
It’s the total violation of personal space and sanctuary.

~~ The dementia patient is screaming very loudly as I start to write this post. Is everything OK? It seems so, but there’s no way to know because most sentences end without finishing, and she runs the gamut of emotions in the space of seconds. Anything I can do? No, you are stupid!

~~ Oh, wait. She’s yelling Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! so I start to walk that way again. I turn around as soon as I hear the maniacal laughter.

~~ A woman is texting as she walks along the sidewalk. A guy parked on the street opens his car door.  She’s about to walk smack into it because her head is down. “Look out!” I yell.
She halts, assesses the situation, turns to me, and blurts out, “You didn’t have to startle me so loudly.” I shrug and keep walking.

~~ The freelancer doing a job is not a native-English speaker. She professed that it wasn’t going to be a problem, but apparently it was when simple written directions confused her (so did illustrations, but that’s another story). At one point, after she repeatedly mixed up a list of people I’d put into alphabetical order — despite my communicating my displeasure — I made the mistake of telling her why the order was important. “That’s not alphabetical!” she responded. Since when is:
E
H
M
P
S
T
W
not alphabetical?

~~ So Don-the-Con has a “bigly” plan to defeat ISIS he won't share unless he's POTUS? That's possibly jeopardizing people’s lives right now, all over the world.

~~ I was going to jump up on my soapbox and rant more today, but you already know where I stand. I’ll take the time to work on HRC’s campaign instead. It’s easy if you want to help, too: https://www.hillaryclinton.com/forms/volunteer/


~~ I’m wearing a NY Jets tee shirt. Before yoga class starts, a guy says to me, “So, are you a Jets’ fan?” I wanted to answer, “No, I found this dumpster diving,” or “How many times have you repeated first grade?” I didn’t. I just laughed and answered, “Of course. Who’d want to advertise that they’re crazy unless they really are a fan?”


~~ The woman squashes a bug in front of me in another class. “Oh, I would have taken it out!” I say sadly. “Are you a Buddhist?” she asks. No, a vegan. “Well, then, relax. You didn’t eat it!” she declares.

Have a great weekend!
LET’S GO METS!
J-E-T-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!

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