LitaWrites (real_lawyer) wrote,

Tossed Salad Friday

This week’s installation of What Did I Do to Deserve This? has adoration, near-poisoning, attempted absolution, and a limited escape. I guess I’ll start with dementia mania.

~~ We tell every home health care aide not to feed our dogs. We repeatedly and explicitly say, “Do not give them any food. Ever.” Yet the other evening, as I’m preparing dinner, I see my littlest pooch eating something at the feet of the aide. I lose my cool and scream, “What’s he eating?” She tells me and I frantically check the ingredients, discovering that it contains onion. Onions are toxic to dogs, and Mookie only weighs 11 pounds, so my agitation reaches fever pitch. The vet is consulted, a 24-hour watch is instituted, and hysteria continues until we’re certain he’ll be fine. (He was.)

~~ The aide corners me in the kitchen the next day to tell me she needs to apologize because “my god requires me to do so.” Not because she’s contrite, mind you. Being the same woman who told me I’m evil (we’ve been trying to oust her, believe me) I flat out say that I’m not going to forgive her to relieve her of divine responsibility. I try to walk away, but she starts begging me to free her heart so her lord will look kindly on her. I say, look, you want to apologize for the name-calling and the poisoning, fine, but don’t tell me you’re repentant solely so you can get into Heaven. Forty freaking minutes later, I’ve heard how maybe I’m not an evil person (I just do “evil things”), that she admits that we told her never to feed the dogs but she didn’t understand why — so she disregarded our rule, that a dog almost bit her when she was four but her husband loved them, that she “maybe, maybe” had been trying to assert dominance in the kitchen, and that I “must” forgive her to “liberate” my heart and prevent it from harming me. I could have written 400 or more words in 40 minutes, or listened to a couple of innings of the Mets’ game. Instead I was subjected to this dressing down/confessional/demand that never once extended an olive branch towards me. I firmly believe an apology is meaningless if you append a “because” or an “if,” and one that is nakedly couched in an appeal for someone else’s salvation is pretty damn worthless.

~~ Oh yeah, I forgot: the reason she talks on the phone all the live long day. It’s because I don’t give her extra tasks to do. What? Her only job is take care of the elderly dementia patient, not wash my floor. I refuse to be blamed for her indolence.

~~ Moving on… I got to run away for a few hours last week. I saw the “Absolutely Fabulous” movie and it was delightful. One of my favorite sitcoms playing on the big screen for 90 minutes was great, but most importantly, I escaped from the loony bin.

~~ What a blast of a week watching the rock stars of the Democrat Party weave their words together. I also appreciated the opening acts and the real-life stories, even the ones that made me cry. I’ve always been a proud party member and these days, the pride goes both ways.

~~ My born-in-the-90s son hasn’t really heard Bill Clinton speak much, so I was delighted to listen to Bill’s stem-winder in his company. We talked about both his speech and Barack Obama’s, and contrasted the two. To me, President Clinton speaks as if he’s reaching through the TV and engaging in a one-on-one conversation, while President Obama grabs us all up as a country and takes us to a higher place.

~~ Can’t get away with not using first names soon when referring to “President Clinton.”

~~ Michelle Obama’s speech was awesome, as expected, and I marveled at all she is despite all the brickbats flung her way. Which leads me to the woman who I’ve admired since I read a small feature on her during the Watergate investigation (that right-wing smear about her being fired is just a malicious urban myth, by the way). I’ve seen a bit of me in her and her in me, but more than that, I’ve seen the embodiment of a public servant that endures triple the shit because she’s a woman while accomplishing four times more than many people of any gender.

~~ Most of all, what I see is the near-achievement of a dream that my mother shared with many others of her generation and those who came before. She wanted her daughter to live in a world where anything is possible. Hey Mom, I’ve been working hard to make it happen… and Hillary Clinton is going to make our dream a reality.

Have a great weekend!
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