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Tossed Salad Friday

I’m breaking this blog up into three parts today. I have attracted new readers who crave continuing craziness from dementia-land, and I’ve been depriving a loyal group of readers (some who go all the way back to 2006 when I began blogging) of the political rantings they request. So feel free to skip and choose. I’m just grateful to have such great readers!

Details from Dementia-Land

~~ My husband finds the aide sitting in the shade of a tree in our side yard with her elderly charge in full sun. What’s going on? “The sun is no good for me,” says the aide. Well, it’s not good for an 88-year-old woman who’s not wearing a hat or sunscreen, either. The aide shrugs.

~~ Oh, but that’s nothing. We are now privileged to have a “Messenger from G-d” in our home. OK, OK, I’ll back up and elaborate: There was food of the aide’s in the microwave for at least 10 minutes after the cook cycle ended, and my dogs wanted dinner. Tired of waiting, I opened the microwave and went to remove the plastic tub. It was hot, so I held it gingerly around the edges and walked it the three yards into the area where the aide sat on the couch gabbing on her phone. I released it onto the table and was walking away when I heard, “You treat me like an animal dropping my food like that.” What? I turn back and say, “It’s hot. Thank you would have been sufficient.” I know I shouldn’t have said anything, but who could have predicted her dropping to her knees, waving her arms in the air and screaming, “Oh, thank you for treating me like a dog! Thank you! But you don’t know that I am a messenger from G-d and YOU   ARE   EVIL!

~~ There was more, of course. Apparently I couldn’t do her job because I “just sit around all day” and she’s “keeping a list.” (Uh-oh.) I snarkily said, “Satan is leaving,” and I departed with a semi-obligatory door slam.


~~ She’s gotta go, of course, but her lazy and nasty personality is only part of the problem. Home health care agencies need to do a better job of assessing the long-term temperament of employees they assign to live in for weeks, caring for someone who yells, BIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH! at the top of her lungs for an hour. Or NAKED! NAKED! HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, NAKED! for that matter. It’s a hard job, but the screening process is pathetic. With a capital P and that rhymes with B which stands for Bullshit.

Life Observations

~ The doctor’s office says it can’t give me a copy of my recent test results unless I sign a release and wait seven to 10 days. Moreover, I need to confirm that I have an appointment with another doctor or I can’t have a copy of the results. I say, “If I was in the office when the doc discussed this with me, she would have hit print and I could have had it on my way out, right?” Yes, the Politburo-in-training record clerk confirmed. But because the doc called me, I had to “follow procedure.”

~~ This:


~~ I told a friend I was anxiously awaiting seeing the “Absolutely Fabulous” movie this weekend. “The TV show’s a movie?” she squealed. Yes, I said, and her voice rose even higher. “This is the best thing ever since I won 87 dollars in the lottery!”

~~ If you’re seeking recommendations for books, the list I compiled for Boating Times is a really good one: http://boatingtimesli.com/NY/hotreadsfortheboat/
You don’t have to be relaxing on the deck of a boat to enjoy any of these, but it’ll make it better, believe me!

WTF Politics

~~ I’m writing this before Thursday night’s speeches, so just reach out if you want my reaction to Trump’s sermon or anything else that you want to discuss respectfully.

~~ This week has shown two subsets of people. One is the group that has no idea how to spell plagiarize. And the other has no idea what it means (yes, there is overlapping). Look, typos happen, but Twitter and Facebook have spellcheck, so I’m thinking these experts believe they know better. Then there are bottom feeders like Chris Christie who claim that if 93% of the speech isn’t copied, it’s not a ripoff. I guess if his teachers gave exams with 100 questions and he only copied seven answers from the smart girl in front of him, his teacher would have no cause to flunk him and his school couldn’t suspend him?

~~ Listen, the plagiary isn’t an ordinary mistake. Melania Trump claimed on national TV that she wrote it, though a staff copywriter came forward days later to say she did. This is a national convention, people — whether the speech was written by the college dropout who lies and says she has a degree or the Trump employee (who has been publicly accused of errors before in one of the books she co-wrote with him), no one scanned the speech for plagiarism? It takes moments with readily available software that editors and teachers employ all the time. The speech Melania ripped off was no different from her husband blatantly appropriating Queen’s music without permission or payment. Or Ivanka Trump’s allegedly ripping off Aquazzura’s shoe designs. These are entitled people who wink at each other and take what they want, thinking we’re too ignorant to find out or too insignificant to matter. Just ask all the people Trump has stiffed and smeared along his route to this point.

~~ According to Eric Trump, animal slayer, his dad is going to bring Christmas back from wherever it has been banished by President Obama. I reread the Constitution and I can’t find Christmas mentioned anywhere! Then again, I can’t find “Article 12” either, which Trump has pledged to defend! http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2016/07/07/donald-trumps-pledge-to-defend-article-xii-of-constitution-raises-eyebrows/

~~ Hey! I just realized that I’m evil and Ben Carson says Hillary Clinton is a Lucifer-worshipper. Could that mean Ben and Newt’s posse is coming after me, too?

~~ Mike Pence is on record stating women have no place in the military, LBGTQ have no place in the country, and that it’s “hysteria” to think tobacco kills. You OK with that? I’m not.

Have a great weekend!
LET’S GO METS!

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