LitaWrites (real_lawyer) wrote,

Tossed Salad Friday

~~ The radio announcer said, “Additional charges cost extra.” When were they ever free?

~~ Who takes out a sticky lint brush in the waiting room of a hospital and starts rolling her clothes? She looks at no one in particular, shrugs, and says, “My cat sheds a lot.”

~~ I heard about an actor who died while performing on stage and another who passed while watching TV. These days, those departures from this mortal coil sound so civilized to me.

~~ On the subject of passings, I was very saddened by the announcement of the death of Beth Howland. She was adorable on the TV show Alice, but I adored her so in the original Company!

~~ If vegan food by definition can’t have a mouth, how is the chia pudding in the refrigerator calling my name?

~~ We all know shit happens, but for Pete’s sake, take those fetid diapers full of it outside.

~~ While we’re on the subject, here’s a tip: Should your washing machine smell foul, check for the presence of turd balls. Chances are good, if you live as I do, that you’ll find a few.

~~ The distance between my armpit and the shoulder of another who suddenly has to wash a paper plate while I’m cooking? About this much: < >.

~~ There’s nothing digestion enabling about eating dinner while someone repeatedly screams, “I’m gonna kill you… Don’t laugh, I mean it!” Unless you deem it preferable to the “Stupid. STUPID. STUUUUUUUUPID FACE!” chant that might accompany breakfast or lunch.

~~ This:

~~ Memorial Day is a somber recollection of those who sacrificed for all of us, including my husband’s Uncle Rudy. Let’s keep them all in mind on Monday, and whenever else freedom is in danger.

Have a great weekend!
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