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Derrieres in Fedoras?

The contract negotiations were awful. The buyers’ counsel demanded thousands of dollars in improvements while insisting that almost every seller protection be eliminated.

Each time I related a demand, the sellers wailed. They were stretched thin, and besides, they had contemplated the home’s condition in their initial asking price. They wished aloud that they could find another buyer, and repeated this frequently as the buyers’ stack of stipulations grew.

After a particularly contentious week, the buyers’ counsel e-mailed me with two more commands:  the sellers must reupholster the cushions of the kitchen banquette with material of buyers’ choice, and the closing date should be postponed by three months. When I conveyed these items to the sellers, they yelped, “No more! These people are manipulative jerks.”

I jettisoned the deal at their request, and understood that my clients were going to take a break from selling after this offensive interlude. Yet they were suddenly back with renewed urgency, looking for ideas to sell and get out of the neighborhood.

It seems their neighbors listed their home and sold it to the commandeering couple my clients cut loose. Now it wasn’t only an expensive house my clients wanted to escape. I was told they also wanted to flee “before we take a swing at one of the stinking asshats next door.”

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