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One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer

The buyer came to the closing table reeking of alcohol. I asked to speak to his attorney outside, and I said, “Although I know this is a cash deal, I’m uncomfortable with selling to your client if he’s inebriated. I don’t want him claiming at some later time that my client or I took advantage of him.”

My colleague wondered aloud whether his client could legally succeed with that assertion; after all, we’re just completing the contract that was presumably signed sober.  Although my conviction was slightly shaken, my instincts said to get some representation from someone to protect my client.  Since the attorney wasn’t about to give me any written reassurance, he asked his client to take a little walk with him.

They both returned to the closing table a short while later. The buyer looked at me with bleary red eyes and said, “No one ever told me you can’t buy a house if you like to party. I wanna buy the damn house and I swear I’m doing it voluntarily!”

The real estate agent drove the buyer to his newly-purchased home (“just to be safe”). The agent called me later to say that his broker made a sniffing noise when he came into the office, then asked, “Are you wearing bourbon cologne or did you spend your commission check in a bar before you got back?”

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