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Un-Deck Those Halls

For the past few Decembers, I’ve shared this holiday poem, with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore (and perhaps to you, if you just groaned, “Oh, dear! Not again!”). I think by now it qualifies as a tradition, so On, Readers!

‘Twas two weeks before Christmas

And all through the deal

My clients had been difficult

Their stipulations unreal

Fix the roof, they commanded

Though it’s covered with snow!

Fill the oil tank, they demanded

Though it isn’t running low!

My phone rang December 11th

It made such a clatter

On the other end were my clients

With their usual patter

The sellers are hanging decorations

Began their newest grouse

Call their attorney and insist

St. Nick come off the house!

That jolly man & those elves

Must be nailed to the shingles

Who’s going to fix the damage

Caused by Herr Kringle?

I asked, is it necessary

To ruin the owners’ holiday?

Oh, yes, I was told

We really hate that sleigh!

So I called fellow counsel

Invoking a clause of the contract

To which he responded

“Your clients are truly whacked!”

I know it, I said

But what can we do?

Your clients are defacing the house

And my clients will sue

Since my clients wouldn’t budge

The sellers were forced to flinch

The decorations came down mid-December

Thanks to Mr. & Mrs. Grinch.

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