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Tequila Makes Your Clothes Fall Off

Last week’s “short shorts” entry reminded me of a past closing I once blogged about. Perhaps it was the same title closer!

 

Some closings have a character or two worth noting for their behavior or attitude. Then there was the closing populated with people I’d be hard-pressed to describe any way except “low-rent.”

 

As you haven’t got all day to linger here, I’ll just share some of the cast of characters:

 

  • The title closer, dressed as if she was running Sunday morning chores (if she was a 16-year-old girl running those chores in a tight, skimpy top and low-rise jeans). She kicked off the closing lamenting the fact that the buyers hadn't bought her a bottle of tequila (they knew each other from high school, and talked like it was sixth period).

 

  • The buyers’ attorney, who arrived 20 minutes late.  Once in the room, he shoved papers over to his clients to sign, without explanation, as he was too busy negotiating other deals on his cell phone.  From time to time, he waved sheets of paper above his head, trying to get someone else to make photocopies for him, though the machine was just two steps away.

 

  • The texting paralegal for the mortgage lender; she looked up long enough to admit that this lender’s paperwork was so easy that she didn’t have to pay any attention.  Besides, she confessed, if there was a problem, the lender would contact one of the attorneys or the title company, not her!

 

Before I made my escape from this circus masquerading as a closing, that title closer brought up the lack of tequila at least three more times.

 

Happy Birthday, Alice!

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