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The Right to Bare Arms

The attorney showed up in a sleeveless top. While a tad informal for a bank closing, the hot and humid weather seemed to call for the least possible amount of clothing.

However, what was most unusual was that her biceps and forearms were glowing, as if she had rubbed on a bronzer with a high sheen (I didn’t take a look from behind to check her tris and delts). And every five minutes or so, she seemed to strike an exaggerated pose to pick up a pen or a stapler, in order to fully flex her greasy arms.

SashaW on Flickr

She was doing the same poor job for her clients at closing as she had done throughout the transaction. She barely explained anything and rarely engaged with anyone else at the table.  Yet when the real estate agent started to talk about working out, Ms. Pumped Up came alive!

She yabbered on and on about her strict workouts and her love of lifting. Though I’d been lifting weights for decades, I became as quickly bored as the bank attorney and the title closer. We found ourselves exchanging looks of embarrassment with her under-represented clients.

I heard that the Bicep Queen is now in big trouble for her part in a major mortgage scam.  I don’t know if she aided and abetted in order to feed her gym habit, or was too busy building muscle to exercise ethics where her client was concerned. Either way, I’m glad she’s out of my profession and has more time to work out. Don’t white collar prisons have good gyms?

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