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Would You Like Fries With That Order?

The attorney rattled off a list of proposed changes to the contract without taking a breath. “Amend paragraph 6 to 14 days; change paragraph 11 to 180 days; insert a clause between paragraphs 13 & 14 to provide for my clients to seek alternate financing; gimme $2,000 in 19; delete 21- 24; and add a Rider as follows…”

 

That’s where I cut him off.  I reminded him that law schools don’t offer stenography classes, and I’d be happy to pass along any proposals to change the contract if he’d put them in writing and send them over.

 

He actually harrumphed at me, and then reproached me. “I’m sure your clients wouldn’t appreciate your slowing things down so much.”

 

Buddy, if wanting you to write down your extensive demands means I’m dawdling, then slap a shell on me and call me ‘turtle.’  Otherwise, please don’t treat me like I’m at the other end of a fast food speaker (and I’m sure you could be a little nicer there, too, mister).

 

Coda: When he finally gave me the list, my clients said “OK” and we were in contract two days later. The order-giver and I never met, as he wasn’t at the closing; his firm fired him and replaced him with a very polite guy.

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