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Un-Civil Discourse

You’ll recall that I mentioned a person on the other side of a transaction that hates me? I’d never met him or otherwise crossed his path (until a few days ago), yet he’d been badmouthing me unmercifully to my client and the real estate agents.

When we did meet at the closing, I directed all conversation to his attorney, and he did nothing more than glare at me. Until, whoops! I said something that set him off-- I told the guy’s attorney that he could see the purchasers’ bank checks for a bit as a courtesy, but I needed them back to make copies for myself and the lender.

“What a douche,” snarled Mr.IHateYourGuts.  How did his attorney respond? “Be nice.”

Though quite taken aback, I never showed it. I just said aloud  that “considering the source,” I’d move on, and I did.

 After the closing concluded and all had left except my fellow attorney, I laced into him. I told him in my best mother-of-a-toddler tone that if I ever had a client who acted like that, I would do two things: 1) I’d demand my client leave the room with me, where I’d instruct him to either stay quiet or stay outside; and 2) upon my return to the closing room, I’d immediately apologize for my client’s lack of professionalism.

“But what did you do & say? ‘Be nice.’ That’s ridiculous!”

“Well, if you think I should have done more…” starts CounselorLameO, but I cut him off.  I had a full head of steam and detest apologies that begin with “if,” as I believe that they aren’t really apologies at all.

“Forget it. I don’t need anything from you,” I declared as I gathered up my briefcase and left in a feigned huff.

Frankly, between you and I, dearest readers, I could “lawyer” rings around this guy even if I was under the influence of many brain-numbing pharmaceuticals. So I figure Mr.IHateYourGuts got the representation he deserves, and picking on CounselorLameO would waste time better spent on my grabbing some lunch.



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March 2019


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