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There are Places I Remember

In late 2007, I wrote a blog entry, supposing that I thought I’d seen every kind of closing room after completing a transaction in the attic of a renovated house-turned-office space. 

On a low beam on the other side of the closing table hung an adhesive bandage and a $1.00 bill.  I wondered aloud about the significance, and the attorney who occupied the space answered. If someone bangs his or her head on that nuisance, “They shouldn’t bother suing me as all they’re going to get is that Band-Aid© and that dollar.”

Ages ago, when the capital gains tax laws were changing to the disadvantage of many real estate investors on January 1, I spent December 29, 30 & 31 in a lunch room at Long Island Savings Bank closing scads of transactions.  Every free space at the bank was overflowing with deals, and I recall that I considered myself lucky to have hot and cold water nearby for tea and instant soup between closings.



I’ve been to offices where there is no on- or off-street parking for blocks and blocks, I’ve closed on an attorney’s dining room table (crossed by her cat more than once),  I’ve been so disgusted at a closing attorney’s restroom that I used my pocket hand sanitizer after washing up at the sink, and I once had a deal where the attorney’s wife was washing, drying, and folding clothes an arm’s length away from the table.

 At one closing, the distinct odor of the Chinese restaurant downstairs was not as distracting as the escalating sounds of voices in that same restaurant, speaking in a foreign tongue but with unmistakable hostility, that led the closing attorney to ponder whether she should call the police.  That place was trouble anyway: before scheduling a closing there, I  called and was assured that it was handicapped accessible, but it was not, stranding my client in the teeny lobby while I ran up and down the two flights of stairs to conclude negotiations and have documents signed.

Recently, though, I had another first.  The attorney for the seller in an all-cash transaction confessed that he was “temporarily between offices” and hoped that I’d “feel comfortable closing the deal at a Starbucks” near his home. When I responded that I didn’t deem the proposed location appropriate, my colleague said he was surprised.  “It’s not like I  suggested the food court at the mall,” he said.


I know I often stop & think about him...


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 8th, 2010 11:48 pm (UTC)
My self-absorbed take on offices
Know what really gets me? The ultra-swanky bank attorney offices, where they get almost as much to close a mortgage as I do to get the whole deal done from A-Z. I'd rather close in a dumpy office where I figure the lawyer is probably not doing better than me!
Dec. 9th, 2010 01:00 am (UTC)
Re: My self-absorbed take on offices
It's hard for me to argue with your logic. :-)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )



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