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Cupcakes & D Cups

Years ago, I had occasion to encounter the same title closer at a few closings over a short period of time, and each time her M.O. appeared the same: she would feed cookies or pastries to the buyer’s attorney (the person who orders the title) like she was a harem girl peeling grapes for some potentate.  She’d coo and flirt and say “Theses cookies are just for so & so—they’re his favorite” or some other inane thing that seemed to enormously flatter the attorney.

I hadn’t thought about her for in ages, until a legal secretary-friend mentioned her name. I wondered,  was she still selling title insurance (she’d get a commission on the sale and then collect the closing fees)? “Oh, yes” said my friend, “but she’s traded in the pies and cakes and is now selling herself. She had a massive boob job and comes to the office wearing short skirts, tight tops, and thigh high boots, trying to catch the male lawyers in their offices. If she gets to one, she leans in real close to give him her sales pitch.”

This woman degrades herself and collects money for each transaction, but at least she’s transparent about stroking an attorney’s obvious inability to resist sexually blatant flirtation. What I find way worse is the attorney who places his clients’ title needs and protection in the hand of a woman based not on the thoroughness and quality of the insurance coverage, but on boobs and baklava.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Nov. 22nd, 2010 02:53 pm (UTC)
I think I know her!
She's in every business. Like the doctors who fall all over the curvy blonde who peddles antidepressants (my field) or the redhead who wears the thinnest white shirts possible to display her wares to apartment managers to get listings (my former field). But they couldn't succeed if men didn't fall for it, so like you said, the women are outsmarting the men.
real_lawyer
Nov. 22nd, 2010 03:20 pm (UTC)
Re: I think I know her!
And the clients/patients/tenants are the ones getting screwed.
(Anonymous)
Nov. 22nd, 2010 05:05 pm (UTC)
I had a discussion with my staff several years ago about our marketing and closing services as compared with those of our competitors. Our conclusion was that the standard of care and performance in the actual closing process was so low that performing the "perfect" closing, every time, without fail, generated precisely zero additional business. Expectations of the parties were so low, that as long as the deal "got closed" everyone walked away happy. When the parties eventually had problems with some aspect of the closing, in a few months or years, they found non-responsive real estate agents and closing attorneys who would fix only the most grievous errors when they could be bothered to get around to them.
While this was at the height of the market, performance still seems to matter very little. Whoever can make sure the deal closes, and the commission checks get signed, gets the business. The triumph of marketing over quality has driven the most competent real estate attorneys into other areas where they can justify charging a living wage, and don't have to compete against the kiss ass and kickback closing market.
real_lawyer
Nov. 22nd, 2010 08:28 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your comments.

The reason that I have used the same title company since 1987 (besides the wonderful people)is that since my clients know where to find me, I want to be able to get help right away if a problem is discovered. No one wants to hear "I'll put in a request to get the file from storage and we'll be back to you in a week or so."

You're right about the way so many closing agents are chosen. I have heard mortgage brokers, real estate brokers, and colleagues all say they use some variation on "What perks can you offer me upfront, and what can you overlook to close this deal?" when choosing a title company.

What a shame that great service isn't first and foremost on everyone's checklist.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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