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Guide Me, O Hungry One

One of the blogs I wrote back in 2007 still causes smiles and comments from readers who’ll remark “that funny story about the hungry secretary made me laugh.” If you haven’t been reading since the beginning (I’m actually coming up on my four year blog-iversary) here is Food, Glorious Food from May 22, 2007: 

I had a closing yesterday in an area I am fairly familiar with, so I just called to get a landmark near the particular building.  "Make a left after Waldbaums" was the response I got.

That supermarket reference reminded me of the set of directions I once got before on-line maps and GPS made my life a bit easier.  Being quite geographically challenged, I'd hate it when I heard a male voice on the line at my intended destination, because 99% of the time he'd tell me to "head sound" or "travel north" and then throw in some helpful tip like the building was on the "southeast corner".  But when a woman answered, I had a 99% certainty of being led to my destination by landmarks.  One time I called for help to find a building in a far-off town I was most unfamiliar with, and to my delight, the voice on the other end offering me assistance was a woman!  

For the next few minutes, my navigational guide led me off the expressway and towards her building with landmark after landmark, and about midway through her tips I realized there was a trend.  Either she worked in an area that was populated exclusively with fast food restaurants and supermarkets, or this was a woman who cared about food (though not nutrition).  My recollection now is that she led me towards the closing destination with references to Wendys, Burger King, Checkers, Pathmark, Taco Bell, Shop Rite, and not one, but two Dunkin' Donuts, the second of which was "directly across from [her] parking lot"!  

I found the building without a hitch, and couldn't wait to thank my personal Sacajawea for her guidance.  But a tiny part of me, I am none too proud to say, wanted to see if her appearance matched the image I had in my head of an amply padded woman who hungrily burst forth from her office each day at lunch time to partake of fast food before shopping for dinner.  I walked through the glass doors of the closing offices and there she was, eating a bagel and drinking Dunkin' Donuts coffee, spilling out and over the sides of her office chair.  I smiled, thanked her, and at the conclusion of the closing (about 15 minutes before noon), I said goodbye on my way back to the car.  She did acknowledge my words, but just barely:  she was studying a take-out menu!

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