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Show Me The Money! Part 2

The reasons my clients’ heads, and my blood vessels, were on the verge of explosion:

1.  Buyers seem less than motivated to be prodding their mortgage broker to get involved in speeding up the process;

2.  Buyers’ attorney, sensing the delays would be longer than the BS’ing secretary let on, tried to leave the closing “for just 20 minutes to go to Home Depot and buy a ladder.”  Are you kidding me, counselor?  You want to run your personal errand while you’ve taken me out of my office for more than half the day and seriously jeopardized my clients’ plans?  If something positive happens, I am not going to sit there and wait for you to stroll back in after your task is completed, and if something negative happens, why are you leaving your clients behind without counsel who might mitigate the problem or at least speed the resolution process?

3.  Lender’s counsel, maybe testy because this lack of prompt funding happens all the time when representing Flagstar Bank, or maybe just an unpleasant person all around, was increasingly rude as time dragged on that afternoon.  In fact, she threw condescending and belligerent into the mix with rude by the time 5 PM was just a memory.  Not only was this making the situation worse, but she of the office looking like a day care center with toys all about herself resembled a petulant toddler protesting denial of wrongdoing while the evidence strewn about all pointed to her.  Sadly, there was no parent to give her a time-out and then push her into the room afterwards to apologize for all the distress she had caused (or at least elevated).

4.  We were all hungry, and not once did the closing attorney offer food, drink, or even a realistic time frame for funding that would have allowed perhaps one of the RE agents to run out and get some food.  My clients had snack food packed in the car for their trip out of the state and so they brought in bananas and grapes, which were gleefully gobbled, and airline size bottles of vodka, which were declined.  No one had to entertain us, of course, but were this kind of situation occurring in my offices over the space of five + hours (as a result of my client’s borderline disreputable actions), you can bet I would have (a) apologized at least every 30 minutes, and (b) offered coffee, tea and snacks.

We got word about 5:20 PM that the deal funded , but the aggravation factor was ratcheted up another notch even as that welcome news came in. 

More tomorrow…

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