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August 10th, 2018

Tossed Salad Friday

~~ If a whale farts at the exact moment that a shark burps while you’re in the middle of the two of them, you’d be kind of close to inhaling the stench that is permeating my olfactory system.

~~ We ask the new aide to set the washer to do only “short” washes. I return home and see she’s set the machine to the “delicate” cycle. The delicate cycle is twice as long as the short one, so I approach her and ask her to use the short cycle the next time. “I used delicate because it’s quicker than short,” she explains. I advise that it isn’t, and she says, “You don’t know that.” Um, yeah, I really, really do know that.

~~ Moments before the yoga class starts, a student comes in, drops her mat in front of mine, and plops down in such a way that I cannot see the teacher. OK, I move to my right. She then whines to please turn off the A/C (mind you, it’s 95 degrees outside, but “I’m freeeeezing” sounds convincing). As the teacher commences, Ms. Chilly shifts in front of me again. I want to move up so I can see, but she takes her blanket and gear and spreads it out all to the side of her, so there’s no room for me unless I cause a minor ruckus. The dance goes on — I lean to the left, she fidgets in front of me, and so on. Halfway through the class, a phone rings. And rings. And keeps ringing. You and I both know it’s hers, but she won’t claim it. Anyway, I vow she won’t disrupt my zen and I tune into the teacher’s voice to get through (though my tee was soaked, and I fanned myself with my mat at times). After class (and her departure), I’m telling a studio friend what a pain in the ass I deemed this woman, but instead of agreeing, she pulls me up short with a “Now, now.” Oops. I backtrack: “Did I sound too petty?” She responds, “Well, maybe, but remember to be grateful. She didn’t have a knife or a gun.”

~~ The time I allocated to write this blog was truncated — I had to do two days’ work in one day so I can spend today attending a funeral in another state. The man who died was kind and funny, and he adored his family. The world is a sadder place because he’s no longer in it.
~~ She tells me “tRump related anxiety is a thing.” I said I know that as so many of us are suffering from it. She hugs me and then asks, “Do you drink or eat to cope? I drink.” I eat.




Dasvidaniya. Have a great weekend!
LET’S GO METS!
Sorry, not yet ready for football

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