Tossed Salad Friday

~~ Overheard in real life:

“You’d have to be dead to not smell her cooking.”

“My doctor was insistent that peanut butter isn’t the issue, but my mother says he is wrong.”

[To clerk in store in a very arch tone] “I want to buy eight, but you only have five on the shelf. What is the problem here?”

“You can’t give that out for Halloween. Kids like gross, not peppermint.”


    ~~ Zooming here and there:

[Speaking of a 16-month-old toddler] “He wants everything now, and when I say ‘later’ he has a hissy fit. OMG, I am also describing my husband.”

[In a seminar about applying for Medicare before the program’s official start time] “Most of the seniors will understand some but not all of Facebook. They just use it to see what their grandkids are up to.”

“Hi, hi, hi! You look great, [name]. Wait, that’s not you. You’re a black box. Oh, I better shut up.”

“Can you tell the difference when I stand up? I mean, do you see me or do I disappear?”

~~ As I wait in line to enter a store, the woman behind me compliments the “Biden-Harris” button on my purse.
Moments later, a woman comes from the parking lot, cuts the line, and heads into the store. “Must be a tRump voter,” the woman behind me seethes.

~~ That store was my second entry into a market in weeks when the only thing I wrote on my list was “cauliflower,” and yet cauliflower was not purchased. I bemoaned this “senior moment” to my husband, and he promptly cheered me up: “I’ve forgotten about cauliflower my whole life. You just forgot it twice.”

~~ We got a menu for a new Chinese restaurant in the mailbox. I thought I’d try a tofu and vegetable dish when I saw “FREE DELIVERY!” Then I read the fine print: Orders must be $40 or more and delivery limited to under 3 miles. Jeez, the total cost of my order was $11.99! I’d have to order a feast to get it anywhere near the minimum (my husband dislikes Chinese food as much as he detests cauliflower). I didn’t bother, as Google maps shows they are 3.9 miles away. Restaurants, think before mailing!

~~ Yoga nuggets:

All we can do is be in the moment, because this moment will never come again.

Don’t moan about not having a totally balanced life. Think about what an EKG looks like — if there’s no ups and downs, you’d flatline!

Your body need not move to send it soaring.

~~ I was able to visit with a good friend in person for a bit as I delivered baby gifts for her grandson and grandniece. As we conversed, masked, the subject of Halloween came up, as I know she makes up a very large quantity of bags for trick or treaters.

“I’m only going to do 100 bags instead of $150,” she said.

That still struck me as wild — who would send or allow their child to accept candy from a stranger in the middle of a pandemic? “You’d be surprised,” she replied.

That’s why I was less surprised when I saw a Facebook post from an acquaintance whose plan is to make her children take baths after trick or treating while she sprays the outside of all the collected candy with Lysol. Her rule will be clear: they can eat all the candy they want the next day.

That sums up Halloween 2020 in my book: I’m petrified to open my door on October 31 to the outstretched hands of potential carriers who haven’t sanitized between neighborhood houses, but some mom is OK letting her kids eat Lysol’ed candy on November 1.

~~ In the category of you never know about anyone, one of my favorite local legislators was arrested in a drugs-for-sex sting operation. He doesn’t represent me, but I’ve spent a few campaign cycles working for him, making calls etc. I’m sure no one I called will ever associate my name with their vote for this allegedly degenerate slimebucket, but I’ve got a serious case of “boy did I get fooled” right now. Ick. Grr.

~ I’m just curious: when Donnie finished his interview with Lesley Stahl and the mic was removed, did he have to lay down on a bed and fiddle in his trousers to tuck his shirt back inside?  I mean, Rudy Giuliani says that's how it's done.

~~ Once again, I’m writing this blog in a narrow sliver of time on Thursday afternoon, before the presidential debate and any news drops that occur after I schedule this to post. So I cannot be as timely as I’d like. But I do want to make an observation about how hard Donnie and the GOP are working to slap a manufactured scandal on Joe Biden. And yet, as of now, it’s seemingly ignored by most news sources and quite a lot of voters.
Could maybe the whole “but her emails” insinuations and implications, which always were insignificant, never really have been about the emails at all? I suspect that pronoun was the problem for many.


 



             



Dasvidaniya. Have a great weekend if you can! Be safe, be smart, and vigilant. Work to turn the White House, Senate, and the nation blue. Make a plan and vote for the 545 children whose parents cannot be located, for the sick, for the vulnerable, for the Constitution, for those with pre-existing conditions, for the hungry, for troops who are neither suckers nor losers,  for the forests, for the diminishing snowcaps, and for those whose lives should matter just as much as everyone else’s.

Tossed Salad Friday

~~ Overheard in real life:

[Man on phone in supermarket] “They don’t have the really good kind. Is another kind OK?”

“How do you tell someone to take a shower? I know it’s a pandemic, but seriously, I can smell her with my mask on.”

“The pizza is good, but the calzones are better. Unless you prefer something else.”

“My voice mail said she called at 3:27 am. When I called her back, she said she didn’t call. So I’m like, OK, you did and you must be sleepwalking. That’s when she got bent outta shape.”

~~ Zooming here and there:
 

“My husband was getting on my last nerve, so when he was talking during an important meeting, I played a recording of a toilet flushing. LOUD!”

“I love calling people! I just don’t like talking too much.”

~~ Yoga nuggets:

         Ask yourself, why do I think so much and move so little?

Where does your fear reside? Where does your courage hide?

        Each of us is a lake of love, yet strangely enough, we are all thirsty ~ Swami Kripalu

~~ Having the production of two potential vaccines stopped when illness occurred is actually a comfort, as it appears scientific methodology is prevailing over “warp speed.” But now I read that the vaccine researchers are using squalene from slaughtered sharks in their studies. Why? You can use extracts of amaranth, olive, walnut, and other seed oils, scientists. Why kill living beings to save living beings?

~~ Speaking of lives in peril, it wasn’t all that long ago that we were dreading the “second wave” of the coronavirus pandemic. Now stats show we’re already on a third wave. A That’s amazing for something that will miraculously disappear by April July really soon. B) Put the blame on every freaking person who wouldn’t wear a mask and/or social distance, and every official who put economics over safety. C) Understand that it’s evidence of a country without a plan to at least inhibit the virus. D) I’m freaking out.
  
~~ I’m working for a blue USA almost every waking minute (a girl’s gotta do yoga, eat, and cry about not earning any income, you know). I am writing this before watching TV Thursday evening, reading Twitter, or being informed by all the breaking news (some of it actually genuine news) I get pushed on my phone. I’m actually eating a vegan toasted cheese and tahini sandwich while typing, because I am never one of those people “too busy to eat.” I need sustenance to get me through the next 18 days, the time until inauguration, and all the work we’ll need to do to repair the mess we’re in. [I am too busy, however, to re-work that dangling participle.]
The time to write this blog came about because I’ve given up on dealing with some people. The bigots, the sadists, and even the ones who became citizens of the USA after fleeing a Communist regime, like this acquaintance:

I actually contemplated skipping this week’s blog because I had so little to share and then rolling what I have here into next week. But as the tee shirt I saw in Nantucket proclaimed, I may be too tuckered out by next week to write anything!

~~ One last thing. This is catchy and helpful to share! https://twitter.com/i/status/1316733822336147456

  

     

 

 


Dasvidaniya. Have a great weekend if you can! Be safe, be smart, and vigilant. Work to turn the White House, Senate, and the nation blue. For the children, for the sick, for the vulnerable, for the Constitution, for those with pre-existing conditions, for women who admired Ruth Bader Ginsburg and those who benefited from her advocacy even as they voted Republican, for the farmers, for the coral reefs, and for the rest of the planet.

Tossed Salad Friday


~~ Overheard in real life:

“I mean, you could call her out on it, but she’ll just be harder to work with than ever.”

“I’m estimating I had like, 30, 60, or 68 of them. Or thereabouts.”

“Those pants didn’t fit her before the pandemic.”

Man 1: “We just needed to do something, you know?”
Man 2:  “I get that, but couldn’t you do something less permanent?”

“Then she says, [laughing], ‘You can’t blame me even one little teeny bit.’ Right… like anyone even cares as long as we get paid.”

~~ Zooming here and there:

“I used to be part of another Zoom group. But they gave me a headache.”

“We’ve been doing this since March. My pregnancies didn’t last much longer than this pandemic.”

“I have two gripes before we get started…”

“We have a lot to cover this afternoon so take a bathroom break and then go get a mug of something strong. I’ll wait.”

He: “I see the main topic is Medicare, but will there be time at the end to ask questions?”
Instructor: “On Medicare?”
He: “No, not particularly.”

~~ Yoga nuggets:
See, rather than be, until you are steady and balanced at the core. Then act.

You can’t silence your thoughts. But you can drown them out with your breath.

                    When was the last time you thanked yourself?

~~ This has been a terrible week or so for losses. Not anyone close to me, thank goodness, but Helen Reddy, Eddie Van Halen, and Jim Dwyer died. Helen sang my anthem, Eddie made me dance, and Jim astounded me with artful facts. All of them gone too soon.

While he’s alive and presumably healthy, Henrik Lundqvist’s era with the NY Rangers has come to an end. I preceded him as a fan and hope to live far past the time his number is hung from the rafters at the Garden, but he represents a time when my NYR-loving kids were younger and our hope as fans was revived and possible.

~~ Regular readers know I have a chronic pain condition brought on by living under extreme stress for years (search “Dementiaville” in my archives if you’re new-ish). Just FYI, if someone with my condition or any similar ailment tells you that the change of seasons and resulting cold weather causes them to suffer, please don’t say, “Turn up the heat” or “Put on a heavier sweater.” I could wear four layers of fleece, crank the heat up to 90 degrees, and climb into bed under six blankets,* and my legs would still burn and my hands would still throb. If you don’t understand, ask. If you do understand, don’t give me advice, please. While I appreciate your concern, I’d rather just hear, “I’m sorry it affects you that way.” Then we can both get on with life.

*Plus, the layer of fleece touching my skin would be agonizing and the weight of the blankets would deter me from the need to stretch and flex every few moments.

~~ If you didn’t watch the VP debate Wednesday night and see Mike Pence’s misogyny projected towards the two women he spoke over and around, you have never been on the receiving end of mansplaining by those with self-appointed male superiority. He didn’t holler like tRump but he nevertheless tried to steamroll the women. He succeeded with the moderator, but he didn’t with the former prosecutor.

You shouldn’t need a fiercely independent mother, a degree in law, and a position of authority to resist a dude who thinks he’s exceptional merely because of his gender.

~~ So there still seem to be some rational-appearing people who love “tRump policies” and think he’s done well for the USA. Aside from the very rich (or those who service said very rich), the bigots, and the one-issue voters who don’t love democracy 1/10th as much as they hate others having reproductive freedom, who’s still supporting tRump? People who know no one who’s been affected or died by Covid and also don’t believe in science and facts, I guess?

One woman was aghast that I “would even try to link tRump to those violent people” (alas, she did not specify which ones). Here’s what I replied to her yesterday:

You may not think there’s a shred of evidence linking tRump to violence, but I observe it all over. He called the press "the enemy of the people” and one of his followers sent pipe bombs to CNN. He labels as “very fine” the people chanting “Jews will not replace us” and then one of his devotees shoots people in a temple in PA. He tweeted and ranted about "anarchists and agitators" and a teenager with a gun gets his mom to drive him to WI to kill two BLM protestors. And just today, after months of denouncing MI’s governor and tweeting to [someone or some group] to “LIBERATE MICHIGAN,” we learn of the arrest of six men plotting to harm the state’s governor. I’d go on, but it’s making me ill and I tend to think you don’t care all that much about people who aren’t you.

~~ I really have lots more to write, but I have a lot to do to help elect Biden-Harris and turn the USA blue. It’s a fan-freaking-tastic effort by millions of people all joining together to stop the deterioration of democracy and send the white supremacists, Nazis, racists, and all the other violent haters back under the rocks they oozed out from under. It’s not easy — those of us who volunteer spend a lot of time on this that could be devoted elsewhere. But it’s so worth it.

     
 


Dasvidaniya. Have a great weekend if you can! Happy Thanksgiving Day, Canada. Happy Indigenous Peoples Day, USA. Be safe, be smart, and vigilant. Work to turn the White House, Senate, and the nation. For the children, for the sick, for the vulnerable, for the Constitution, for those with pre-existing conditions, for Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and for the world.

Tossed Salad Friday

~~ Overheard in real life:

“No, she was totally serious. Anyway, who kids about something like that?”

“She used to be an interior decorator. Then she got divorced and I don’t know what she is.”

Man 1: “Want to get a pizza?”
Man 2:  “Again? You gotta expand that palate, bro.”

“Saturdays are the worse. He uses that damn leaf blower next door and I have to scream in my own house. I don’t even understand what he blows for that long!”

~~ Zooming here and there:

“This is the [air quotes] room I found from Zoom. Is this the place I belong?”

“Can you tell if anyone can see me?”

“Thanks for asking, but if I told you all the things that are wrong with me, you wouldn’t get to speak for another hour.”

“How is it that no one else on my Facebook page has gained even one pandemic ounce and I feel like a blimp-and-a-half?”

“I called probably 15, 16 numbers before someone answered. Then before I could say a word, the guy let out a string of profanities and hung up on me. You had to laugh, though. He probably got a lot of pent-up hostility out.”

“It was so much fun to get away for a few days. I mean, we saw almost no one and did almost nothing, but it still seemed fun eating takeout on a picnic table overlooking the Hudson.”

“I don’t know who invented Zoom, but I am so grateful for her or him or it. Otherwise, the Jewish holidays would have been so very dark and lonely.”

“My daughter wants me to take her shoe shopping. She’s doing remote college, so who needs shoes?”

~~ Yoga nuggets:

                          The first three breaths in rest are the hardest.
    It’s not selfish or irresponsible to feel joy.

~~ You know you’ve got a lot of dogs when you rise from your desk and remark, “It’s not a parade, pups. Momma’s merely making a cup of tea.”

~~ Yom Kippur just passed, concluding the Jewish High Holidays. Zooming was actually wonderful — we saw the faces of so many congregants instead of the backs of their heads. The rabbi and cantor were visible without straining or craning, the room wasn’t freezing cold, I didn’t beg a single pardon to get to the bathroom, and I didn’t dress up.

I realize those are petty reasons, but everything adds or detracts from having a divine experience. My husband and I sat on the couch with two of our three dogs, thoroughly enjoying each of the many services we attended. Was it the same? No, of course not, but we felt heavenly.


Oh, yeah, also missing was the part where we didn’t “break fast” with family, happily kibitzing while stuffing our faces with the most delightful bagels we’d tasted all year. I want that part of the holiday back!  
     

~~ I met this seemingly lovely woman who was talking up her spirituality. A few minutes into our conversation, it was evident she was racist. Not an in-your-face tRumpian hater, but a “they were people of color, so I understand why they steal” kind of dogmatist. I walked away. But I know silence is compliance and I should have done something to call out her her white piety — she proclaimed that “G-d is within us” while declaring “I try to show blacks in my church how to be more divine.” If it was my home and she wasn’t in her mid-80s…

~~ Then there’s this woman who thinks a millionaire’s yacht is the equivalent of a decent education: https://twitter.com/i/status/1311516809582063616

~~ Tuesday afternoon into evening, our internet and cable TV were out, and our phones coincidentally (maybe) had weak service. We wanted to watch the presidential debate and as the time grew closer to 9 pm without service, we knew we had to do something. We rushed from the house, forgetting to ask the dog posse if they needed to “go out.” We were driving around the area to find stronger service when one of my sisters-in-law invited us to their house to watch.

When we returned to our house almost two hours later, our most geriatric and occasionally senile canine had, for the first time, pooped all over our sheets.

And that, dear readers, is what tRump did in the debate. He shit the bed. And smeared it, too.



     



           
   

  


Dasvidaniya. Have a great weekend if you can! Be safe, be smart, and vigilant. Work to turn the White House, Senate, and the nation blue. For the children, for the sick, for the vulnerable, for Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and for the world.

Tossed Salad Friday

~~ Overheard in real life:

“Imagine being that needy. I wouldn’t dye my hair for any man.”

“You really can’t equate sauerkraut and kimchi without sounding like a total food dweeb.”

“[Laughter]. Good luck with that! Did you ever tell a teenager to stop doing something and have her listen?”

“I used to smoke cigarettes, but I stopped after my doctor showed me pictures of tongue cancers.”

Man 1: “If you knew that all along, why'd you let him go and do it?”
Man 2:  “I guess I didn’t think it through.”

Woman on boardwalk yelling at fleeing child: “[Name!] Stop that running! Feet are for walking!”


~~ Zooming here and there:

“I’m a cashier and I had someone tell me she was ‘too busy’ to wait on the line while I ‘chitchat’ with people. All I did was ask the two people in line ahead of her, ‘How’s your day going?’”

“Did you ever have one of those days where Flo from Progressive makes you want to scream?”

“Burnout is real. But I still have enough energy to take a mallet to the next person who gets on my nerves.”

“My sister-in-law texts me to call her. Who does that? Either say what you want in the text or call me.”

“This guy in Starbucks says masks are making him an asthmatic and if he dies his wife is ‘gonna sue somebody.’ I wonder if it would be inappropriate to give him my lawyer business card… Relax, folks, I know it is!”

“So I call a house and ask the man who answers if I may speak with [a female-sounding name]. He says, ‘Why do you need to speak with her? I make all the decisions.’”

“Take your right ankle and bring it to your left shoulder. No, wait, take your left, I mean right knee and bring it towards your left shoulder. Yeah, right knee, left shoulder. Now do the opposite side. Or the same side if you got confused by anything and did it wrong.”

~~ Yoga nuggets:

The best time to plant a seed was in the spring. The second best time is right this minute.
Happiness can’t be diminished when you share it with others.

Your body is wherever it needs to be today. Meet it there.

~~ She asked if I could knit a pair of socks for her. I said I could, but I was “very limited.” When she asked by what, I recounted my current life: a lack of business means no funds to shop for yarn, an abundance of agita watching the Mets and the news that would surely flow from my fingers into the socks, and a lot of pain in my hands at times. “Oh,” she replied. “Could I pay for half the yarn in advance?”

~~ I took an informal mask count this week while walking the boardwalk, and I was quite discouraged. At least 60 percent of people were not wearing masks. What gives? Governor Cuomo said yesterday, “Not wearing a mask is DUMB!” He’s so right.

~~ A masked woman in the supermarket invaded my six-foot-zone and asked if I liked the kind of vegan ice cream I put into my cart. I think, Why else would I be buying it if I didn’t like it? But I back away just a bit and say, “Yes, it’s delicious.” She thanks me and concludes, “You just looked like the kind of person who knows about stuff.”

I do? I look like the kind of person who knows about STUFF? I’m taking this as a compliment and will soon be updating my résumé.


~~ If you want a mindless diversion and have at least one dog, here’s one that amused me no end. Drop a small piece of paper on the floor within viewing distance of your desk (mine was about dime-sized) and don’t pick it up for a while. If your pup is anything like my three, they will observe, visit, sniff, scrutinize, and eventually ditch said paper bit over and over and over again. Between naps, of course.

~~ Oh, the Mets. My hapless, helpless, once again meaningless baseball team. If you’ve been reading my blog since 2006, I’m not going to take too much time bemoaning their swoon because you’re read it all before.

But if you’re a newish reader, don’t put too much faith in me as spring 2021 approaches, because I set myself up for perpetual disappointment.

This was a short season, and the Mets were packed with talented pitchers, right? There was an extra hitter in the lineup each night (aka DH) so that could only help, right? We had a rookie manager and a sophomore GM looking to prove themselves, and the team would play with lots more intensity because no game could be overlooked, right?

Oh, well. For so many reasons, 2021 just has to be better than this one.

~~ It floors me that there are still undecided and tRump voters out there. This isn’t a question of policy (Donnie has none except divide and discriminate) or personality (he’s a braggart, a bully, an adulterer, and a traitor). It’s a matter of life and death, democracy or autocracy. Think about it this way before deciding on which candidate gets your ballot:

  • Have more than 200,000 people died from something he deliberately downplayed?

  • Has the USA suffered from his incompetence when it comes to the most vulnerable (e.g. the hungry) and the necessary (strong bridges and tunnels)?

  • Was the candidate impeached for misusing his office?

  • Is the candidate actively trying to hide his taxes, his DNA, and the graft he’s skimming from the Treasury?

  • Does the candidate deny science, medicine, and facts?

  • Is health care and social security in peril if your candidate wins?

  • Are there dozens of rape, predation, fraud, and other cases in the pipeline against him?

  

 

 

 




 


~~ Dasvidaniya. Have a great weekend if you can! Be safe, be smart, and vigilant. Work to turn the White House, Senate, and the nation blue. For the children, for the sick, for the vulnerable, for Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Tossed Salad Friday

~~ Overheard in real life:

“The baby is named after the girlfriend of the grandfather on the other side.”

“I know it seems stupid, but it probably wasn’t all that dumb when I first thought of it. But ya know, I felt committed to see it through.”

“When you see it you may think ‘Wow,’ or you’ll wonder, ‘What asshole put that there?’”

Scene inside Trader Joe’s, near the front door, as I am asking the admittance person for a wet wipe for my cart while he lets a woman and her kid into the store:
She: “Did you just curse at me?”
Me:  “What? No! I’m talking to the guy at the door.”
She: “Don’t lie, lady! You just called me an asswipe.”
Me: [Speeds towards bananas as fast as flip-flopped feet can carry me.]

“I am very glad for the Covid so I don’t have to deal with my Republican relatives.”

~~ Zooming here and there:
“I am actually enjoying the quiet in my neighborhood now that the kids have gone back to school, though we all know that won’t last.”

[Biden volunteer discussing a recent call] “I ask him if he has a plan for voting for in the 2020 presidential election but he asks me, ‘Who’s running?’ At first I think it’s a joke, but maybe it isn’t, so I launch into a spiel. About a minute into it, he thanks me nicely and hangs up.”

“I went into the office for the first time since March and I started to shake. Of course my boss sees me and asks, ‘Are you sick?’ So my choices are say I’m sick and be sent home for 14 days with no pay or tell the man in charge of future promotions that I’m now afraid to be around other people. I thought fast and told him I hadn’t eaten breakfast so it was low blood sugar. All good, right? No, he’s a super nice guy, so he fixed me a bagel.  I had to eat it even though I really had breakfast barely an hour before. But sure enough, being stuffed did stop the shaking!”

“Is that haze here really smoke from out west? Those poor people with earthquakes and fire on top of all the rest of 2020’s ridiculousness.”

Woman 1: “All you need is love, right?”
Woman 2: “And a bowl of macaroni!”
Me:  “And dogs.”


“Do something you love with someone you don’t usually do it with,” said author BK Fulton.

~~ Yoga nuggets:

What in your life right now is true and beautiful? Embrace that.

Don’t bring doubt onto your mat.
Tell it you’ll see it after class and then forget to tell it when you’re done.

How can we not all be connected when we breathe in and out all the same air?

~~ I have three younger brothers, and the “baby” of the bunch had a birthday yesterday. He and his family live in the house we all grew up in, and he was straightening up his garage when we stopped by. The garage is still filled with our childhood memorabilia as well as his family keepsakes, so he was bemoaning how reluctant he was to toss many things away.

He pointed at two very large souvenirs our parents brought back from a Jamaica vacation way back in the 20th century. One was a bit rusty and the other slightly broken, but he was talking himself into keeping them for no reason other than he “didn’t want to be the one who threw them away.”

Plan hatched and problem solved — on his birthday, he gifted me the relics, and when I got to my destination, I blithely threw them away!

~~ Rosh Hashanah starts tonight, and it will be a very strange start to the new year indeed. Everything I can conjure up about it will be different: no synagogue attendance (we’re Zooming Judaism), no spiffing up our appearance for the people we see but once a year, no sense of community imploring to be sealed in the Book of Life, and no cherished family dinners.

We usually say at the conclusion of the Rosh Hashanah — Yom Kippur holiday season, “Next year in Jerusalem!” In 2020, I’m saying, “Next year in synagogue and each other’s homes!”

Wherever you are and whatever you yearn for, I wish all observers a year of sweet joy, good fortune, and robust health.

~~ I heard Christie Todd Whitman on MSNBC talking about Donnie’s lies concerning Covid. This is the same Secretary Whitman who declared the air quality after 9/11 “safe” and jeopardized a lot of people’s health. Seriously, they can’t find anyone else to condemn not wearing masks?

~~ Are we all understanding that Donnie’s “plan” to let the herd spread the virus will probably kill upwards of two million people in the USA? How is that acceptable to any person using even two percent of their damn brain cells?


  
      
    
                   
 


~~ Dasvidaniya. Have a great weekend if you can! Be safe, be smart, and vigilant. Work to turn the White House, Senate, and the nation blue.
LET’S GO METS!

Tossed Salad Friday (on Thursday)

Though I’ve written on September 11 in the past, I don’t want to do so this year. If you want to read any of my 9/11 blogs, use the archive to the left. If not, enjoy this day-shorter Tossed Salad Thursday, then say a kind word or make a gentle gesture to someone tomorrow. While you're at it, work to get the Saudis out of our White House.

~~ Overheard in real life:

Him: “You ate five hot dogs.”
Her:  “What could I do? They were right in front of me.”

“If you didn’t have that color hair would it be blue or pink?”

“I wasn’t surprised he died. He had to be 80 or 90 at least.”

“I’d always nibble on the frosting first, but he never knew.”

~~ Tee shirt worn by a guy with facial hair: “Be Bearded and Die Awesome.”

~~ Zooming here and there:


[Frantic and frenzied barking, followed by a soothing voice] “It’s OK, baby. I just went to the fridge for a Zoom beverage.” 
 

Zoomer 1:  “Are you the same person who had the yellow shirt on last week?”
Zoomer 2:  “No, I don’t own a yellow shirt.”
Zoomer 1:  “Well, it would look good on you so buy one sometime.”

“Will you repeat that all, please? My doorbell rang but I decided not to answer.”

“How long will this meeting be before I need to leave?”

~~ Yoga nuggets:

      It’s not what you see… it’s what you perceive.
  If you just slow down, you’ll be surprised by what you’ve been missing.

~~ He says, “I saw your Twitter feed. When did you become such an activist?” I replied, “Probably once I turned two.”

~~ I cannot wait until I can stop fuming about and dreading the outcome of everything that is happening in this country. As I write this, he’s made fun of Kamala Harris’ name (it’s foreign, you know), said it would be a disgrace if she became the first woman US president (she’s Black, you know), and is maneuvering to have the Justice Department take over and dismiss his defamation (rape) lawsuit. Quick question, Bill Barr: why drag the DOJ further into the mud and waste the taxpayers’ money if Donnie is innocent? Just share his DNA and let the chromosomes exonerate your blameless boy!

~~ Oh, no! As I finished that sentence, I saw Bob Woodward has tapes confirming Donnie knew AND DOWNPLAYED the coronavirus. He lied, our families, friends, neighbors, and entertainers died, and yet people walk among us who still support this cretin. You’d rather have a racist killer “represent” you while fleecing your pockets before you croak?

~~ There’s someone on Twitter who keeps calling everything Donnie does half-assed. Can you imagine the consequences if he leaned that full colossal ass of his into destroying the USA?









~~ Dasvidaniya. Have a great weekend if you can! Be safe, be smart, and vigilant. Work to turn the White House, Senate, and the nation blue.

LET’S GO METS!

Tossed Salad Friday

~~ Overheard in real life:

“I consider myself well informed. I read headlines on Yahoo news three-four times a day.”

He, talking in perfect English: “But what do you call it?”
She, speaking loudly and slowly: “A RES-TAUR-ANT.”

“I’m so not a fan of room temperature beverages.”

“Canceling my cable was not as satisfying as I thought it would be.”

[In line at Trader Joe’s checkout, eavesdropping on the woman in front of line] “I’ve started a new diet. It’s got a lot of protein and some other things I don’t really understand, but my sister-in-law lost a ton of weight on it. I want to be ready if there’s a real Thanksgiving.”

“He’s a jerk. I’ve known that since high school. Nothing you can say will tell me that the last 16 years or so have smartened him up even one teeny-weeny bit.”
[Undiscernible words and laugh.]
“Yeah, right, right. He is a weenie.”

“I love your mask. It’s so very unmask-y.” [Pre-Lady Gaga at VMAs]

~~ Him: “What’s the forecast for today?”
Me: “Siri, what’s the weather forecast for today?”
Siri:

Him: “Sounds like a pretty good day.”
Me: 


“~~ Zooming here and there:

“I’ve stopped referring to this as a ‘pandemic.’ It’s now the season of rediscovering myself.”

Zoomer 1: “My new boyfriend is wonderful; he’s nothing like my ex. He’s warm, he’s funny, he’s attractive, and smart.”
Zoomer 2: “Then what was your first husband?”
“I was really looking forward to this meeting until I saw who was in it. Now I feel unprepared.”

“Holy shit! It’s September! That means I’ve been overeating and bitching for [counts aloud] one, two, three, four, five, OVER FIVE MONTHS!? And I didn’t even learn French.”

Zoomer A: “There are some good things about the coronavirus.”
Zoomer B: “What could be good about something that has killed almost 200,000 people so far?”
Zoomer A:  “I mean besides that.”
[A chorus of voices disagree with A.]

“You tell me. Are they really going to sterilize school buses and library books? The supermarket stopped cleaning their carts between people by July; I can see the schools going maybe until Columbus Day before they slack off.”

“The kids are now going to start online, then go hybrid. The parents are going to start stressed and go nuclear.”

“I’m going to tell my minister to stop referring to Hell as something that happens in the afterlife. It’s happening right now.”

“Yeah, a vaccine developed by tRump people is not for me. I mean, what happens if I take it and grow a tail?”

“Zoom is OK but I am really tired of cleaning my dining room for virtual people.”

“Is anyone else here feeling like we won’t recognize doomsday when it happens?”

~~ Yoga nuggets:

The breath is the messenger to the body.

                      Where your attention goes, the energy flows.

        You can’t live an honest existence under false pretenses.

~~ I get these feelings sometime. A certain situation or person pops into my head, and about 50 to 60 percent of the time, something happens that matches the feeling or affects the person. I screwed up recently when I warned a “Karen” I know to be safe when actually “Kiernan” had fallen ill. I know I sound a bit of an alarmist when I reach out and say, “indulge me, please” but I guess there’s really nothing wrong with knowing someone cares. Even if the one who cares is a bit daffy.

~~ A very nice reader sent me a note saying how she liked how I “wrote about everyday things, especially out of context.” I know that’s a compliment, but as I said in my reply, “The context is just life.”

~~ Any dream interpreters want to tackle this one? I dreamt I was both a juror and a defense lawyer for the judge who was also presiding over the case while teaching a course I wanted to take.


~~ I read some noteworthy books recently. First, Too Much and Never Enough by Mary Trump.

The book has a creepy factor because the main character is a total creep, but her clinical recounting of the cold and competitive environment that hatched the Slimebag-in-Chief is a fascinating read. I closed the book and sent a “thank you” to the universe for the parents that raised me and the family that loves me.

Second, I read Utopia Avenue by David Mitchell. Wow! I am new to this author (though I hear some characters in this book appear in his other novels). Permit me to say “Wow!” again. The storyline of four band members rising to stardom in the age of Hendrix, Joplin, Bowie, Jagger, the Beatles and so many more recognizable stars hooked me, but this was no ordinary three guys and a gal sail across the pond and become rockstars tale. At the risk of sounding too effusive, Wow!

~~ People sometimes talk themselves into utter despair about the upcoming elections. I’m far from a cheery sort myself, but I never see doom where I can take action. So here’s how I’ve been responding lately to declarations of despondency:

Do something today for a better future!
🌊 Donate to @JoeBiden campaign
https://secure.actblue.com/donate/biden2020
🌊 Call, text, organize 
https://joebiden.com/take-action/
🌊 Buy stuff
https://store.joebiden.com/
🌊 Endure you're registered to vote + share this link
https://iwillvote.com/


~~ Someone on Twitter made a very accurate typo, talking about the “Untied States.” We have definitely come undone in a very deadly way.  We have unraveled so far that there are lines from here to next week waiting for food, testing results take two weeks unless you’re rich or a friend of Donnie’s, multitudes dread eviction, masses have no jobs or are losing their businesses, and nobody’s getting fat except the GOP. We are decidedly the Untied States, being pitted against each other and threatened daily — that rope that tRump and Putin have unleashed is beating us over and over again. This is abuse and we either succumb or succeed in overcoming. What say you?


  

 

 
  

   
   



Dasvidaniya. Have a great weekend if you can! Be safe, be smart, and vigilant. Work to turn the White House, Senate, and the nation blue. Please thank the workers that you meet and the unions that keep workers safer.
LET’S GO METS!

Tossed Salad Friday

~~ Overheard in real life:

“I get no points at all for trying to stay socially distanced. As a matter of fact, my in-laws do everything they can to get too close.”

“I have too much going on in my life to worry about whether Black lives matter.” [White woman.]

“If the rich people out in the Hamptons wanna get COVID, I say make them pay for it themselves.”

“She thinks anything that doesn’t concern her is boring.”

~~ Zooming here and there:

“When the power went off, I told the kids, ‘Count your underwear! I need to know how many days we can go without finding a laundromat.’”

“Our power went off, too, and I had to throw out stuff from the freezer. But like the saying goes, you can’t cry over soggy pizza!”

“Anyone knows why my screen is getting dim?” [Person disappeared. Laptop likely discharged.]

“It’s not that hard to keep apart from people but it’s really killing me not to be able to pet dogs that go by.”

~~ She tells me she heard “firsthand” about the daughter of a woman her sister knows who got a prescription for hydroxychloroquine from a local doctor. The daughter who had been hiding in the garage because she was embarrassed that her partying caused her to contract the virus, apparently went to the doc, had an instant COVID test, drove to a “mom and pop” pharmacy because the big stores wouldn’t fill it, got extra doses from the pharmacist, but didn’t need it because she was “cured” just one day after taking the drug. That’s a prescription for a miracle, folks. Straight from the horse’s mouth!

~~ My husband was recalling his recent surgery. He said the drive home was a bit of a blur because he was “all drugged up.” They gave him Tylenol.


~~ Yoga nuggets:

Perfection isn’t an achievement. It’s your essence.

Don’t hold on to your breath. There’s plenty more where it came from.

Melt into the floor like an ice cube on a sunny day.

If your ankles dance, dance along with them.

~~ On my recent shopping trip to Trader Joe’s, I looked for their crunchy and tasty waffle ice cream cones to no avail. All gone, said the manager. “They are seasonal and the season is over.”
Ice cream cone season is over? What season is it then?

~~ Finishing up my mid-pandemic checkups and tests, I had a mammogram. In the waiting room of this Covid-19-conscious imaging center strolled a woman with a mask tucked under her chin. She came in for a test but was telling the receptionist, someone on the phone, and all of us that she didn’t want it. A person ensconced behind Plexiglas said (once), “Pull up your mask,” but otherwise, the test snubber sauntered and semi-shouted in Spanish until someone behind the barrier said she called her a cab.

The rambling refuser didn’t comprehend, so the faceless voice said she’d get “someone to translate.” What transpired next would be funny if we socially distant waiters weren’t ducking spittle: A scrubs-clad woman ambled out, walked up to the woman, and said, “They called you a taxi and it will be here in 30 minutes.”

The so-called “translator” spoke in English! Then she returned to the sanitary recesses of the back office while I made a note to share the story with you.

~~ If you think a looter (i.e. a criminal) is the same as a protester (i.e. a lawful activist) and are more upset that Nikes are stolen than that people are murdered, should I buy you a dictionary, a civics book, or a heart?

~~ Is there anything you can believe from the toddler in chief? He claims to be all for protecting those with pre-existing conditions while propelling the lawsuit to destroy Obamacare and specifically strip protections for almost two million people with such conditions in Georgia. He asserts he’s the protector of “suburban housewives” (all four percent of them) while labeling every woman who doesn’t sleep with him, pay him, or praise him as “nasty.” He is actively undermining the postal system, scientists, environmentalists, (blue) elected officials, proclaiming himself all about “law and order” as he shreds the Constitution and sows discord, and unabashedly showing his racism. People are unemployed, hungry, and soon to be homeless, but he golfs because the USA is “great.” With no due respect, if you support him, you are either a toxic hater or someone who doesn’t care about the hunger, illness, murder, and other plights of fellow humans as long as your portfolio blooms. Either way, I’d appreciate you leaving; I truly don’t care if the door hits you in the tuchis on your way out.

On the other hand, if you detest Donnie and his criminal enterprise, how about Kamala Harris? She’s fierce, she’s dynamic, she cares about people, and she loves the Constitution!


  

        



 
 



~~Dasvidaniya. Have a great weekend if you can! Be safe, be smart, and vigilant. Work to turn the White House, Senate, and the nation blue.
LET’S GO METS!