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Tossed Salad Friday

~~ In Dementia-ville, this week’s caretaker has a very loud speaking voice. She takes every syllable of every word and turns it into an aural jackhammer. She emits sounds to engage the patient that bring to mind an amplified banjo at a Creole Hootenanny. I’m fairly certain said sounds are destroying the stereocilia in my ears (I had to look that up). I don’t think there’s a polite way to ask her to tone down her normal speaking voice, but I’m open to suggestions.

~~ When it comes to suggestions, the patient remains the contrarian she always was. When asked by the aide whether she wants “pudding or applesauce,” each choice is met with an emphatic Hiss. Then again, the patient may be more perceptive than she’s appeared lately, because I don’t remember buying pudding.

~~ There was a lot of “bad” going around this past week. One friend ate bad pizza, another had bad cramps, a woman on a nearby yoga mat confided too loudly that she had bad hemorrhoids, another complained about her bad haircut, the news was bad, the Knicks were bad, and an acquaintance said his attitude lately has been extremely bad. Then there was the teacher who said she had a bad headache because “this little creep in my class kept correcting my pronunciation of Mediterranean.” How old was this know-it-all? “Eleven going on I’m-so-glad-you’re-not-my-kid-cause-you’d-be-in-boarding-school,” she declared.

~~ Overheard this conversation: “Wait, are you a Republican?” “Oh, hell, no! I’m a woman.”

~~ Overheard this cell call: “You ate what? That was mine. Mine, mine, mine. Get it? Triple mine.”

~~ My nephew’s summary of yoga: “It’s not hard. I just couldn’t do it.”

~~ The discussion turned to “Me, too” as it has lately. Almost all the women in the room had a heartache of a story, and one man had heard enough. “What a bunch of sob sisters,” he lamented. “This is just how life works.” I angrily left the room, but not the conversation.
About 10 minutes later, I asked him how he’d feel if his wife or daughters were subject to how life works. “Well, that’s personal,” he said, “and I’d deal with it.” So, he’d barge into the office where a daughter worked and rip the harassing boss a new one? “Obviously not.” So, he’d tell his kid to quit her job to make the provocation stop? “Obviously not.” So, what would happen? “Well, obviously, I’d rather it not happen in the first place,” said the weasely man. Bingo, bud.

~~Those of us in the NY-metro area quaked a bit more than others around the world when innocent lives were cut down in NYC on Halloween. It’s incomprehensible how anyone can hate so much as to plot and plan to murder people out for an afternoon stroll or commute. Nowhere is safe, no one is immune. Hate in every form is toxic.

~~ The November issue of Boating Times Long Island is out: http://boatingtimesli.com/NY/ Don’t miss the stories on winter skin care and kids’ fun science projects!



Dasvidaniya. Have a great weekend.
LET’S GO RANGERS!
GO, NY KNICKS, GO!

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