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Tossed Salad Friday

~~ She asks me about my Thanksgiving. I answered that it was fun. When I turn the question around, she says, “Please don’t ask unless you want an answer that involves slapping, pie on the floor, and at least two people joining AA.” I was happy to get a more detailed answer, but she was next up on the bathroom line, so we left it there.

~~ The yoga teacher says she’ll be doing lots of twists in class to “wring the extra stuffing out” of us.
I wonder if the ancient yogis in India ever said, “Let’s form a discipline that contorts the intestines of over-eaters!” (If they did, it would have been in Sanskrit.)

~~ There’s a public school teacher over here wailing about Trump’s nomination of a private school proponent for Secretary of Education. Over there is a Bernie Bro bitching about the Goldman Sachs’ers swarming into the administration. See that Jew in the corner outraged that anti-Semitism is running neck and neck with Islamophobia? She shares a common trait with the teacher and the Wall Street hater: they all voted for Trump. The teacher told me, “I didn’t like how cruel and creepy he was, but I wanted change.” Lucky you, getting just what you wanted — smaller public schools and the disappearance of wide-ranging education.

~~ Oh, yeah, I almost forgot to mention the grandma who had no problem overlooking Trump’s mocking of a disabled reporter though she has two grandkids with disabilities. She says she voted for him because “He’s not her.” She told me she’s “incensed that there’s any talk about Social Security decreases” in the upcoming Congress, claiming that’s “off the table forever.” I responded, “It’s OK to take away women’s rights and LGBTQ rights but you can’t touch Social Security?” She replied, “Oh, those aren’t rights. Let’s change the subject.”

~~ If you get all your news from Fox and faux-Fox, you probably aren’t reading my blog. But if you’re here and think the Trump kids, particularly Ivanka, are so great, how about reading this? http://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/ivanka-trumps-terrible-book-helps-explain-the-trump-family-ethos. Here are two awful passages describing her autobiography:

She offers a story about being forced, by her mother, to fly coach to the south of France as the moment she realized she needed to make her own money. She has a sour sense of humor: she describes attending the élite prep school Choate Rosemary Hall as an opportunity “to look at the world from a whole new angle. Even if it meant living in a building named for someone else!”

She and her brothers finally tried to sell lemonade at their summer place in Connecticut, but their neighborhood was so ritzy that there was no foot traffic. “As good fortune would have it, we had a bodyguard that summer,” she writes. They persuaded their bodyguard to buy lemonade, and then their driver, and then the maids, who “dug deep for their spare change.” The lesson, she says, is that the kids “made the best of a bad situation.”

~~ Want to know what’s going on in Dementia-ville? Well, the aide who was explicitly asked to do the wash on Monday did it on Thursday and yelled at someone in Creole for almost one hour at the top of her lungs as her patient screeched and wailed. I tried to break it up twice, but inasmuch as this aide has decided that the proper response to my saying hello is [crickets], she didn’t really give a rip that I objected to her scream-fest.

~~ To the man in the store who asked, “Are pints and gallons close in size?” the cashier was dead wrong when she said, “Pretty much, yeah.”
Have a great weekend!
J!-E!-T!-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!
LET’S GO RANGERS!
GO, NY KNICKS, GO!

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