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Tossed Salad Friday

~~ This was definitely a week for dumb things (I’m purposefully excluding Donald Trump and Ted Cruz for brevity’s sake). Like the company that wanted me to review their fashionable, slip-resistant shoes but required me to return them after I’d worn them. And the freelancer offered a continuation of her project who waited five days to respond, and then became perturbed that I’d turned elsewhere as my deadline loomed. How about the alumni president of an all-male Harvard club who defends its rule prohibiting women by boasting that it eliminates the risk of sexual misconduct? Maybe the worst is Lisa Ling’s husband, Paul Song, who called Hillary Clinton a “corporate whore” — though Ms. Ling is not responsible for her husband’s words any more than Ms. Clinton is for Bill Clinton’s actions in freeing Ms. Ling’s sister (Dr. Song’s sister-in-law) from North Korea. (By the way, dumb of you not to denounce that slur, Bernie Sanders, but instead thank the speaker.)

~~ Is this a positive book review?

~~ In the space of under five minutes, I closed an open cabinet door, cleaned an overflowing lint trap, turned off two lights, changed out a soaking wet towel, washed a filthy sponge, and mopped up a puddle. If I’d wanted to follow someone around and clean up, I’d have had more children of my own.

~~ Why would anyone, even a member of the force, want a tissue box with handcuffs? Am I missing something?

~~ “Are you married?” the man asked me. “Yes, why?” He responded that I was smiling so much I must be unencumbered. “Trust me, I rarely smile except at yoga,” I said. “But I’ve been happily married for almost 37 years.” He expressed surprise: “Wow. I didn’t make it even eight full years. But she was a real bitch.” OK, go away, please. You’re creepy and we’d all be bitches if we were married to you.

~~ One more dumb thing. I shared a kid’s story on the Boating Times’ Facebook page, and someone posted this in response:

~~ By the way, the April issue of the magazine has fun and interesting articles for non-boaters as well as boaters.

Enjoy! http://boatingtimesli.com/NY/

Have a great weekend! If you’re eligible to vote on Tuesday, please do so.
LET’S GO RANGERS!
LET’S GO METS!

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