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No-Santa Clause

A reader and former (wonderful) client chided me for forgetting to post my annual poem about a couple of Grinch-like clients. She was right, so with my yearly apology for adding to the sleigh full of bad poetry on the web (and to the heirs of Clement Clarke Moore)… on, readers!
‘Twas two weeks before Christmas
And all through the deal
My clients had been difficult
Their stipulations unreal

Fix the roof, they commanded
Though it’s covered with snow!
Fill the oil tank, they demanded
Though it isn’t running low!

My phone rang December 11th
It made such a clatter
On the other end were my clients
With their usual patter

The sellers are hanging decorations
Began their newest grouse
Call their attorney and insist
St. Nick come off the house!



That jolly man & those elves
Must be nailed to the shingles
Who’s going to fix the damage
Cause by Herr Kringle?

I asked, is it necessary
To ruin the owners’ holiday?
Oh, yes, I was told
We really hate that sleigh!

So I called fellow counsel
Invoking a clause of the contract
To which he responded
“Your clients are truly whacked!”

I know it, I said
But what can we do?
Your clients are defacing the house
And my clients will sue

Since my clients wouldn’t budge
The sellers were forced to flinch
The decorations came down mid-December
Thanks to Mr. & Mrs. Grinch.


If you’re finishing up Hanukkah, finish strong! If you’re awaiting Festivus — go for it! If you’ll be celebrating Christmas, have a blessed and merry holiday! And please have a joyous Kwanzaa.

Happy New Year to all… see you in January.

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