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Tossed Salad Friday

~~ The woman was griping about everything. I mean everything from the temperature outside to the temperature inside, with stops along the way for the government, red light cameras, taxes, the cost of grapefruit, and the grating way her boss talked about sports all day. Her incessant bitching was sucking the life force out of the room. Once she started to make her exit, we all held our collective breath, hoping she’d skeedadle rather than dawdle. She gathered speed, tossed back her hair, and cheerfully said, “Have a nice day, all — this was fun!”   jackass The people in the room burst into laughter, and Ms. Misery will never know why.

~~ “I don’t know why the Africans don’t just wash their fruits and vegetables better. That’s how we stop the spread of E. coli here,” the man says. When it’s pointed out to him that he’s confusing E. coli with Ebola, he shrugs and replies, “Same disease. It’s just the African word for it.” This man has an actual job with real responsibility; lord help us all.

~~ Can anyone explain to me why a nine-year-old needs to learn to fire an Uzi? I’ve reached maturity without any need to learn, so what am I missing?

~~ I was all set to give you a couple of the bona fide reasons why I couldn’t blog much today, but then I saw this tweet:
excuse


Have a wonderful holiday weekend. I intend to blog again before the Jets start the season, but after last night, it’s never too early to cheer them towards victory!
LET’S GO METS!
J!-E!-T!-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!

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