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Tossed Salad Friday

~~ Overheard: “I thought my clients were really nice people, too. Until they sued the snot out of me!”

~~ Is writing fortune cookie fortunes a paying job, the work of some random-word-assembly bot, or the favorite hobby of some really strange cookie factory owner?
fortune cookie

~~ Best/worst excuse for doing an absolutely abysmal job on an assignment: “You have a much higher opinion of me than you should have, based on my limited ability.”

~~ If you leave me a business-related voicemail message at 11:15 pm, does it occur to you —even a smidge — that “I’ll expect your return call right away” is a waste of breath?

~~ I found a styling product that puts fun waves in straight hair. A couple of people shared flattering remarks about my very beach-y look, and I was grateful. However, my favorite compliment was, “Wow! You don’t look so buttoned up!” button shirt

~~ For your safety and my sanity, please stop saying things to me along the lines of, “I’m not really a hockey fan, but now I’m rooting for the Rangers.” You’re not going to get a “welcome to the party” high-five from me, because all we need is more goals, not more front-runners. Don’t get me wrong — I’ve excited as can be, but I prefer to party on a high note with the people who’ve shared the low notes, too. It’s about the only privilege that comes from suffering. thumb

Enjoy your weekend!
LET’S GO RANGERS!
LET’S GO METS!

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