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Tossed Salad Friday

~~I was at a funeral yesterday (so much sorrow recently). As we were glancing around at other headstones in the cemetery, we noticed two standing side-by-side that poignantly illustrated the inequities of this life. To the right, a woman who lived more than 100 years. To the left, a girl who lived three months.

~~ “This matzoh is stale,” he says. I wonder, how can you tell?

~~The corporate services operator asks how she may help me. Five seconds into my explanation, she says “Calm down.” What?

~~Someone very smart remarked that bananas are fattening. Really?  If I ever have so much money that I won’t miss a few dollars, I’m starting the Banana Anti-Defamation League, because that’s some serious slander going on here.
~~The man sounds boastful that he doesn’t know how to cook or shop for food. “It’s not women’s work, per se, but it’s not something a man needs to do.”  I’ll bet you can imagine what I shouted back at the radio!

~~Regular season baseball arrives this weekend! I had such plans to write an ode to spring and the delusional giddiness I experience each year on the cusp of the baseball season. But I have had such a very hard slog for the past few years recently that I haven’t had an opportunity. Or perhaps, I’m just beaten down to the point where even baseball can’t revitalize me. Time will tell.

If you’re celebrating Easter, I hope you have a wonderful day with loved ones.
LET’S GO RANGERS, KNICKS, & METS!

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