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X-Rated Snow Show

Years ago, I received a memorable phone call from very distraught clients. Right after they listed their home, LI had a major snow storm, which was followed by a cold snap. The deep freeze preserved the “lewd” tableau of snow people assembled by their “odd” next door neighbors, which would likely deter anyone from making an offer on their home.

The scene might make buyers blush, though the homeowners weren’t too embarrassed to paint me a risqué word picture.  They finally got around to asking me, was there anything they could do to make the neighbors demolish the bawdy scene of anatomically correct and pointedly posed snow people?

After my suggestion to ask politely was rebuffed (“You don’t know these people”), I warned my clients that they were better off waiting for a thaw rather than risk being charged with trespass and malicious mischief (I’m not a criminal lawyer, so I don’t even know if that’s a real crime).

They wondered if, perhaps, they could stand on their own property with a really long stick and whack the racy right out of the icy figures? In the middle of the night? Or have occasion to fling boiling water all over their lawn and just happen to (repeatedly) splash the copulating snow couples?

I told them I couldn’t advise them to take any premeditated actions like that. But, I mused, one could speculate that that boiling water would remove all traces of the peep show, while beating them with a stick would leave body parts strewn everywhere.

(Sorry, no photos… this was back in the take your film to the drugstore for developing days.)

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