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Happy Hog-Wild Holiday!

The law firm associate was complaining how much she hates the holidays at her office. Seems there’s a Secret Santa (“every year, I get drugstore cologne”) and “tacky tinsel,” along with a party that “brings out the drunk in people who should definitely stay sober.”

 The holiday harangue moved onto food. “Do people bring you food? I hate when they bring me plates of cookies, especially with those tooth-breaking silver balls on them. Are they even edible?”

I told her I didn’t know, but I suspected they were. Her rant resumed, “Everywhere I look, there’s calories, calories, calories. You have to be polite and take a bite, or somebody gets mad. Work shouldn’t make you fat!”

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