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Green Turned the Lawyer

In yesterday’s blog, you’ll note my client listed too-much fishing talk as one of his closing “don’ts.” He mentioned it as part of a bigger picture, unlike the bank attorney, who blathered on only about his love of slaying fish.

 

Soon the sellers’ attorney chimed in, followed by one of the RE agents, who proudly proclaimed her official capacity as head of some fish slaughter club. These new buddies prattled for more than an hour about the joy they all derive from massacring innocent creatures of the sea.

 

The title closer knew that I was a vegan, so she kept giving me sympathetic glances and checked to ensure that I was not becoming too queasy.  Alas, I was!

 

I wanted to shut out the conversation, but 30 years of honing my talent for eavesdropping at closings made it difficult.  So here I was, looking out for my clients in an oxygen-deprived room, listening to graphic boasts about harming sentient beings. My stomach flipped, my brow grew sweaty, yet they never stopped bragging. I mustered all the self-control I had to quell the waves of nausea.

 

 

It’s all well and good to be sociable, and when you have something in common with others in closing room, civility usually trumps hostility. But seriously, any topics not concerned with the mortgage, house or money should be limited to less than five minutes in duration!

 

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