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Tossed Salad Friday

~~ “Achhhhooooo!” he sneezes. “Bless you,” I say. “Thanks, but don’t bother. I’ll be sneezing a lot. I’m very sick.” I tell him I hope he feels better and move away as fast as I can. Three hand washings and two zinc tabs later, I’m still wondering why he didn’t stay home.

~~ A woman was babbling incessantly about something she saw in Africa in the 1980s that might be why she started taking yoga in 2015. The voices in my head were screaming, “Shut Up! Shut Up! Shut Up!” so noisily that I’m not 100 percent sure I didn’t say it out loud.

~~ A kind person gave me a compliment, saying I have “amazing continuity.” It reminded me of someone decades ago who said, “No matter what, you’re never not there.” Some people lap up praise for intelligence, beauty, or kindness. I’m quite happy to catch a commendation for stability.

~~ The haughty woman who proclaims that Bernie Sanders is a perfect candidate tries to shred women who support Hillary Clinton by sneering, “Sanders supporters don’t vote with their vaginas.” There was so many things wrong with her preposterous position that I didn’t even try to respond.



~~ Rebecca Scarberry, a talented writer, tweeted this: Writing is the honeymoon. Editing is making the marriage work. I say, Amen!

~~
     
Did you know mosquitoes are the world’s deadliest animals? I didn’t until this week, when I started reading up on the Zika virus, which led to dengue fever, and then to discovering the absolute killing machines that these little creatures are: https://www.gatesnotes.com/Health/Most-Lethal-Animal-Mosquito-Week. Mother Nature is the biggest threat to our survival, so instead of squabbling about meaningless things such as religion, race, and money, how about we band together all around the world to save the planet and cure diseases?

Have a great weekend. Go Peyton!
LET’S GO RANGERS!
GO, NY KNICKS, GO!

Tossed Salad Friday

~~ The two men exiting the deli were talking to each other as I walked past. I’m wondering what the gist of the conversation was, based on this snippet: “And my wife’s psychic says it’s certain he’ll go to jail.”

~~ You know you’re growing older when you nod in agreement with someone who says she likes her new jeans because “they are roomy.”

~~ People are strange. We hired someone new last week. After working a few hours in the office, she asked if she could work from home. That was OK with us, but then she went missing. A week later, she emailed to say she quit because it's too hard to work at home with a toddler around. 

~~ A friend called her a “screwball” when I related the story. That sums it up in a non-profane way.

~~ Someone on Twitter was recommending a book. I’m sure she’s a lovely, sincere person, but I don’t think she did the author any favor by tweeting this: What a Great Weekend Read. Read it in One Day!

~~ Speaking of Twitter… go, Cher!

~~ I’m not making light of the Flint situation. It’s an American horror story, and it’s being played out to some extent in every poverty-stricken municipality in this country. People without the means to influence elections just can’t compete for a fair shake. Or good health.

~~ I don’t know about you, but I won’t be watching the NFL Pro Bowl Game or NHL All Star Game Sunday evening. I tried watching years ago, and I just couldn’t get into them. I do enjoy the NBA’s nobody gets hurt and everybody looks good all star affair and baseball does entice for a couple of innings, but there’s nothing about the two games being played on Sunday that’s appealing. I’d almost rather watch a few hours of Donald Trump saying “China.”

Crap. The video’s only three minutes long. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDrfE9I8_hs So to fill the time, I looked to see if there’s a Carly Fiorina compilation, maybe with her turning up her nose at every suggestion that she lied about seeing a non-existent video. Instead, I found something much better!



This should immediately disqualify her from just about everything.

~~ Thanks to those of you who reached out to me about my seasonal disaffection — it definitely didn’t improve when 30 inches of snow fell. However, a few of your suggestions are solid ones. Those did not include the suggestions that I vacation for a month in Belize or spend 20 minutes outside daily (with bare arms, to boot). I can’t afford the former and as for the latter, well, I guess I’d rather watch the NHL All Star Game than walk around in 20-degree weather in a tee shirt.

Have a great weekend.
LET’S GO RANGERS!
GO, NY KNICKS, GO!

Tossed Salad Friday

I’m not having a good day, readers. This season affects me terribly. So here I sit, keyboard ready to spring to life with political dissections and sardonic observations, but my energy is so low that all I can muster up on this winter day are some photos and images.


Both work for me, though I’m partial to the Mr. Haney comparison because I liked Grandpa.

No explanation necessary.

Right? Right.

Couldn’t resist. Go, Peyton!


I am related to — and friends with — wonderful people who made my birthday special.

Where I wish I was.

Have a great weekend if you don’t get snowed in. If you do, well, see, that’s part of why I loathe winter (it despises me, too — I can tell).
LET’S GO RANGERS!
GO, NY KNICKS, GO!

Tossed Salad Friday

~~ I am writing this before last night’s debate, so I’m lacking in timeliness, not failing to stay current. I guess topics that may have been covered are Ted Cruz’ possible ineligibility for office (if Professor Laurence Tribe says it’s an unsettled matter, I’m inclined to believe him) and his failing to disclose that he borrowed big bucks from Goldman Sachs and Citi to finance his senatorial campaign. Cruz calls the non-disclosure inadvertent, but inasmuch as using Wall Street money didn’t fit in with his fictional story line of liquidating all his assets to run free of special interests, I’d call the oversight deliberate. It’s sort of like Cruz citing the original language of the Constitution when it suits him and centuries-later Supreme Court rulings when he prefers them, or telling a voter forum that the SCOTUS don’t have the final say when he knows his base hates the Supremes.

~~ Donald Trump may cheat on his wives and screw those who do business with him, but beware the stealthy Mr. Cruz as well. He’s a prostitute.

~~ Then again, what the hell is this Donald Trump-sanctioned spectacle?

~~ I celebrated a birthday this week.
It was definitely a strange one. This was a milestone, but that wasn’t the complete reason it was so peculiar. I asked for little (nothing material) and received less, but was nevertheless rewarded by an excess of good wishes and hands extended in friendship and love. So let me retract strange and substitute unexpected. Yes, I believe that sums it up much better.

~~ I vividly remember my mom clutching War and Remembrance, a Herman Wouk novel, being so excited that he’d published something new (Winds of War came out six long years before — I looked it up). I never imagined then that, 38 years later, I’d greet the news that there was a new Wouk title with excitement, too!

~~ The woman was recounting her cruise to others when I overheard this:

        Listener:  Wow, that sounds expensive!
        Cruiser:  Second husbands are good for something.

Have a great weekend!
LET’S GO RANGERS!
GO, NY KNICKS, GO!

Tossed Salad Friday

~~ Let’s cut right to the chase. If you don’t know that Paris is in France should you be in charge of the nuclear option?


~~ Would you believe that Trump’s tweet also reminded me of this?


~~ Macy’s is closing stores, blaming warm weather for lackluster sales. Could it be that a) many Macy’s are in malls and I hear mall traffic is way down, and b) who would go to Macy’s for a mop?
If that’s what they’re selling, it seems to me that some of their marketing and merchandising execs might also think Paris is in Germany.

~~ Now for something of vital importance in my world. The Hall of Fame adds luster to its walls by adding Jr. and Mike Piazza! I could go on and on and on, but if you’re a sports fan, you already know how awesome the additions are. If you’re like the woman who remarked on seeing my #31 Mets’ tee shirt, “Isn’t he [Mike Piazza] the really cute guy who used to play for the Mets in 1986?” this photo is for you:


~~ So some states (and countries) tax tampons and some states don’t. And some legislatures debate taxing tampons. Moreover, some tax departments issue rulings on the necessity of tampons. Ninety-nine percent of the people involved in this ridiculousness must be male, because having one when you need a tampon is indubitably a necessity! http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/07/upshot/the-latest-sales-tax-controversy-tampons.html?_r=0

~~ I didn’t wish you Happy New Year yet. So consider yourself wished all the best!

~~ Someone shared that in numerology, 2016 is a continuation of 2008. That made me sick in the pit of my stomach, as 2008 was a personally terrible year. Which, come to think of it, is precisely how 2016 has started.

~~ I was also advised that this will be a year of endings. At first, I felt sad about that, but then I recalled how some of 2015’s endings were actually fantastic beginnings. Long-time readers will recall that I got booted from a yoga studio I liked because I took too many classes on my “unlimited” pass. But then I found a nicer, warmer, larger, closer, and more affordable studio! And I lost some people I thought were friends when my long-time knitting group devolved in a stink-eyed, crayon-eating kindergarten exhibition. However, I joined another group last fall (with the same teacher) that cost me less and had knitters far less prone to drama and kvetching than the paste-eaters of old. So… endings aren’t all bad, because some make way for better beginnings.

~~ My mom hated the word “veggie” and I heard someone say she detests the word “moist.” Know what words I deplore? Milestone, mature, and aged. Keep that in mind when you’re communicating with me, OK? Else I’m apt to send you to Paris, Germany.

Have a great weekend!
LET’S GO RANGERS!
GO, NY KNICKS, GO!

Festivus Salad

I was all set to air my grievances today. I wrote out five of the ones I thought most disturbing. Then I deleted the really malicious grievance and the pettiest of gripes, and thereafter removed the concern that seemed exceedingly trivial in black and white. On a roll, I deleted the remaining two, which were, in the best of lights, paltry and semi-nasty.

Here’s what I have left from that original list of perceived mistreatment at the hands of people and the world:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

The emptiness of the list after soul-searching pruning means that I must have many things to be grateful for in my life. If you’re reading this, you are one of them. I'll make a donation to the Human Fund in your name!



Have a Merry Christmas, a great weekend, and a wondrous celebration of everything. See you at the end of the year, or next year. Or whenever.
J!-E!-T!-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!
LET’S GO RANGERS!
GO, NY KNICKS, GO!

Tossed Salad Friday

~~ The emailer wrote, “Will you represent me on a little, little deal, please, please, please?” My response was, “There’s no such thing as a little deal and there’s no amount of begging that would make me do it.”

~~ I gave a handmade gift to someone while no one else was around. However, she left it in view and a stranger (to me) found out I’d made it. “Will you please make me the same thing?” she asked. I couldn’t have been more flabbergasted if this previously unknown person had asked me to give her a pint of my blood and a check for $10,000.

~~ I’m always trying to learn new words. This week I saw Vlad Putin’s ways described in a NY Times’ article as “revanchist.” I got the gist of it in context but didn’t recognize a Latin or Greek root. I suspected it might be French, but that’s not in my wheelhouse, so off I went to my dictionary. My search led to revanchism: from French revanche, "revenge,” a term used to describe a political will to reverse territorial losses suffered by a country. Spot on, NYT!

~~ I have this lovely greeting card display that has hung in my office every year for at least 30 years. The cards I receive are stapled to the ribbons, and many years it comes unhooked from the weight of all the cards. Hanukkah came and went without a single card this year, so I took it down and put it away. (This week, a late Hanukkah card arrived as did a few Christmas cards and a solicitation dressed up like a 2016 calendar from a former colleague looking for referrals.) Gone are the days when I received newsletters from former clients with pictures that show how families have expanded and grown up. There are no more invitations to attend special Christmas celebrations with congregants of churches I represented. No more cheesecakes, fruitcakes, and rum cakes. No more bottles of wine and poinsettias. My retirement from law coincided with a decline in old-school card mailings, and it halted the flow of thoughtful things I don’t eat or drink and have to keep away from my dogs. Wait! I think I forgot my original point, which was… oh, never mind.

~~ CNN is a news organization, right? So how come one of its news anchors moderated the debate but didn’t call any of the GOP candidates on their loose (if any) grasp of facts? How could I trust Wolf Blitzer’s delivery of facts and figures at the anchor desk when he just stands by as candidates say 10 million when the truth is 1.3 million, or that generals retired for being blunt when they actually resigned for giving away classified material to a mistress or blabbed to Rolling Stone magazine and undermined troop morale? Is CNN admitting that they aren’t a news organization during debates, just circus ringleaders and commercial delivery platforms? What a load of crap.

~~ Speaking of crap, it seems to me that any moderate GOP voter (though, seriously, where’s the moderation in being anti-women, anti-equality, and anti-science) would go nuts letting a town like this help mold your presidential candidate: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/17/upshot/how-a-quiet-corner-of-iowa-packs-such-a-fierce-conservative-punch.html?ref=todayspaper&_r=0.  They care more about repealing a woman’s right to choose and a gay couple’s right to marry than they do about improving our country and keeping us safe. That’s what makes the USA so great and so scary at once: you’re a patriot if you foment hatred while armed to the teeth and I’m labeled a radical because I believe in equal rights, reproductive freedom, and a living wage.

~~ Hey, Chris Christie: its 2015, dude. Moms work, too!

~~ I’m going to get emails for sure about what I wrote. I get them from readers who chide me when I fail to rant about anything on a given Frida, and I get berated for being “too liberal,” “too leftist,” and (only once) “un-American.” Who cares? Until those rural Iowans and the Trump jackals take over the country, I’m still free to spout off about respecting science and human dignity.

~~ Two weeks ago, a woman at yoga asks, “Are you Emily ____'s sister?” No, why? “I see a resemblance.” Two days ago, Emily signs in right before me. She’s easily six inches taller than me, 30 years younger than me, has wavy hair (mine’s straight), and a complexion that says Mediterranean where mine proclaims Eastern European. Maybe all my mirrors are rejects from carnival funhouses?

Have a great weekend!
J!-E!-T!-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!
LET’S GO RANGERS!
GO, NY KNICKS, GO!

Tossed Salad Friday

The world is barreling towards hell in a silver-plated handbasket, so I’m going to break format a bit. Instead of sharing my thoughts and rants today, I’ll share dumb things said to me this week (or that I overheard):

~~ If you weren’t a redhead would you have curlier hair?

~~ Donald Trump isn’t my first choice for president but he’s my second choice. [I learned the man is a big Mike Huckabee supporter.]

~~ You really don’t seem like a Hanukkah-celebrator.

~~ The New York Giants are way better than the Jets. They beat them in special-ed teams and David Beckham is a better receiver than anyone on the Jets. [The woman talking smack to me in knitting knew I was a Jets’ fan, but didn’t know special teams and Odell Beckham Jr.]

~~ Are you still doing that yoga thing?

~~ People should worry less about laws and more about morals.

~~ Heh, heh, heh. Guess this warm weather disproves global warming.



~~ Vegan as in doesn’t eat fish, or stricter than that?

~~ Can you break a fifty-dollar bill?

~~ I look around at the house and can tell they are rotten parents because they never lift a mop or use a dust cloth. [Spoken by a special needs nurse who I gather goes in twice a week to help a family with two kids that have Down syndrome.]

~~ I got this cold from someone so I don’t feel all that guilty if I spread it around while shopping.

~~ Justice Scalia said … [any sentence that starts that way ends in something dumb].

~~ Did I say goodbye to you the last time I saw you?

Have a great weekend!
J!-E!-T!-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!
LET’S GO RANGERS!
GO, NY KNICKS, GO!

Tossed Salad Friday

~~ I don’t think that I’ve ever praised a Daily News cover unless it featured one of my teams winning, so here’s a first:

~~ I am freaking tired of the pols who kowtow to the NRA’s stance on an unfettered militia while dismissing our basic human right to stay alive.

~~ This is a very bad week for living, but it was an OK week for justice. Sheldon Silver was convicted on all counts, Don Blankenship on some counts. And an electrician turned Citibank executive is going to jail for stuffing his pockets full of cash, which means we’ll soon be hearing that, Yes indeed!, Wall Street is being policed.

~~ Back to Sheldon Silver.
Yet it’s not just him. The NY legislature is rife with people lacking morals that jibe with mine. I want my government to be without conflict and responsible to the people; I’ve seen more than a dozen members of the NY Senate and Assembly from Long Island reward those who in turn line their pockets. Yet Governor Cuomo merely waves a flashlight in the direction of Albany ethics, rather than drawing back the curtains and letting in bleaching sunlight.

~~ Wow, Bette Midler is 70. And Woody Allen is 80. Somehow — without any rational reason – I thought they were contemporaries. In age, I mean, not talent.
~~ The woman acted quite happy, so I remarked, “You seem very jubilant today.” She looked at me with the blankest of expressions, then brightened back up and said (quite euphorically), “OK!” I’m guessing she had no idea what I was talking about, which happens to me occasionally. I get ribbed for using $5.00 words when 50-cent words would suffice, and I know that’s true. However, in my defense, I just love using wonderful words. If I actually wanted to show off, or show someone up, I’d rebut the rebuke by saying, “Oh, yeah? You know you’re calling me sesquipedalian?”

~~ Adventures in reading: I read a very good book with an abundance of typos, and then another quite enjoyable novel with just one error in almost 300 pages — the word petition appeared where partition clearly was intended. Thereafter, I moved to an immaculately proofed and edited book, written by a celebrity, that was so bad that I wanted to scream. I paid $30.00 for it (not willingly, but I did it) and it was torturing me nightly as I read before bed. Then I heard a radio commentator say, “Life’s too short for bad literature.” [I thought he quoted Montaigne, but I can’t find it attributed to him.] Before sleep that night, I blithely tossed the book aside and started reveling in a Dave Eggers book. So the first person who wants a celebrity’s book about relationships, it’s yours. I’m happily reading Your Fathers, Where Are They? And the Prophets, Do They Live Forever?

Have a great weekend! And Happy Hanukkah from my family to yours!

J!-E!-T!-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!
LET’S GO RANGERS!
GO, NY KNICKS, GO!

Tossed Salad Friday

~~ Why do some people say, “It’s vegan but it’s good” when serving something I’ve made or brought to share? Does anyone say that about salad, fruit, or other non-animal products when they offer it to guests? “Oh, this water is vegan but it’s thirst-quenching anyway…”


~~ One of my dogs has reached that geriatric stage where he needs carrying up the stairs. That makes me sad, but there’s a big upside to it: I take him in my arms and kiss him while we ascend, just like his brothers and sister who faltered before him. He can do nothing but be smothered in kisses — no wiggling away!

~~ Something about the word “gals” annoys me. I don’t know why, but I guess I’ve never heard a woman say it (that I can recall). It’s always a man I hear saying it dismissively or derisively, as in, “You gals ___.”

~~ Live and learn:  I tried to find out if there was an interesting derivation of gals. Instead, I found that it’s the name of an all-girl school http://www.galschools.org/. Love it!

~~ We were having dinner the other evening and I mistakenly chose a tomato-sauce-laden meal while wearing a white sweatshirt. Of course, I splashed sauce and then bemoaned my foolishness for ruining a favorite shirt. My charming and funny spouse said, quite earnestly, “Maybe it’ll come out. Maybe vegan tomato sauce doesn’t stain.”

It does. So does "vegan" oil.

~~ I’m ignoring the state of the world today. And most of the people who populate it. Don’t get used to my restraint.

Have a great weekend!
J!-E!-T!-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!
LET’S GO RANGERS!
GO, NY KNICKS, GO!

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